Noise

I try to get in some form of exercise that's not work every day. Today I left the operating room a little before noon and worked at my desk for a little while. I'd packed a lunch and ate while I did paperwork. I checked the weather page on the net and noted that it was only eighty-one degrees out. I had my camera with me so I headed downstairs. My plan was to find a few flower beds and escape into petals and leaves and color for about ten minutes.

I was struck by the noise of the street as soon as I exited the building. Construction vehicles are everywhere in the Medical Center. I say I love the city and I do, it's just that there was no escaping it today. It felt oppressive and a little ugly. A new structure has gone up across from my building. I'm not sure what it is. It may be a water tower, but it seems more like a containment structure, as if it's been built in case of emergency. It's next to a power plant for the hospital. I know there was a some sort of drilling rig in place before the walls went up. Then panels were installed that made it look like a weird piece of modern art plopped right in the middle of all the steel and glass buildings. It's bizarre.



The other picture I'm posting is to show you just how congested this area is with buildings, and more buildings. It's thick with them.



So today I feel like I looked out and I saw noise. My eyes were full of the hustle of the place I work. Perhaps more overload or maybe just a chance to look at things a little differently.

Wednesday Update

I didn't run today because I woke up too late. I had an appointment this morning and I wouldn't have made it on time if I'd taken time to run. The rest of the day was filled with errands and answering one page after the other.

I bought several things I need for my upcoming trips:

Two dresses that look like they came right out of the 60's. Seriously. I went in search of NOW and bought THEN. My mother would have worn them when she was a fashion-forward hottie. I found some patent leather pumps with the highest of heels that are quite Ooh-La-La!

A wig. That's right, a wig. I needed one for Halloween and I found one. Long, brown, and ridiculous. :)

I also had dinner with two friends and discussed another holiday, Thanksgiving. I guess half the gang will be traveling cross-country so we're going to have to adjust this year. Turkey's turkey, even when it's chicken. Or something like that.

So today's theme seems to be, "Things aren't always what we thought they would be."
It's ok. Today isn't yesterday and it won't be tomorrow, either. Or something like that.

Good night, sleep tight. Sleep sound. Tomorrow is another...tomorrow.

Tuesday

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:45 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 75 degrees
Humidity: 83%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I went to bed at 8pm last night. Turned off the TV and the phone and crashed. I looked at my alarm at 5 this morning and thought, "Really? Do I really want to do this?"

I went. I'm glad I did.

Have a great day, whatever it brings you.

Dark Cloud Days - Some of us have them.

I wrote this in February, 2008. Today, it still speaks very much to my feelings around my job. At the time I wrote it, I was struggling with my sense of helplessness when doing surgery on pediatric cancer patients. I've been working in Oncology on and off for thirteen years. I keep thinking I'll get better at this. Sure, my clinical skills have improved, but my skill at dealing with the stress waxes and wanes.

Right now it's waning.




Facing the Calling


So where
is my soul?
I have to wonder.
Where does it go?

In some crater deep,
so dark and lost
I can't seem to keep
a bit of me safe these days.

"Here, I'll hold your Bear
while you stay
right there."

She drifts off to terrored sleep
and we deliver the beastie.

But whose dreams do we keep?

We mark her as ours.

When she wakes
she will remember
and nothing will make
her normal.
M. Scofield 2/25/08

Woman's Desire for Fresh Air Defeats Excuses - Story at 9:30

Distance: 2 miles
Start time: 8:30 am
Run Duration: 21 minutes
Average Pace: 10.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 75 degrees
Humidity: 90%
Location: Hermann Park, Houston, TX

Headache, sore toe, not enough sleep, plans to meet for breakfast at 11am. None of these things individually seemed enough. I considered them as a group. No, not enough. I did, however, decide to go for 2 miles - not 3.

I'm good with that. I feel better after getting outside and sweating a little. My head still hurts, my toe is still sore and I'm sure I'll be craving a nap at 3pm, but I feel better for having given myself the gift of exercise. I'm committed to this, darn it!

Today I lift up my gratitude for the ability to feel, to believe, and to commit - and for the opportunities put before me that stir me to action.

Because I Said I Would

Here you go, Stacey. This is the little piece I told you about. Just a nosh.

Tea Time

Standing on line at the corner shop,
waiting for a cuppa,
and thinking about toffee bars,
I go back to Granny’s house.

Clink, clink.
Sugar squares fall through time
and land on China patterns.

Tea roses.
Moss roses.
Dusty roses.
Wedding roses.

I slip around the grand furniture,
as she naps
-or pretends to nap.
Shhh!

Clack, clack.
She lets me wear her shoes,
and her hat, and her own Granny’s mink stole.
I am a lady.

We eat cookies and call them biscuits.

I keep my white gloves at her house,
in the bottom drawer of the big chest
she calls a bureau.
I keep them with the pin she calls a cameo
and a Sucrets tin with nine pennies,
a nickel,
and a red button.

Saturday Morning

Distance: 6 miles
Start time: 8:00 am
Run Duration: 70 minutes (Walked 2, ran 1, walked .5, ran 2.5 more)
Average Pace: 11.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 73 degrees
Humidity: 91%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I met my friend (we work together, but we're much more than that) Stacey at Memorial this morning. She brought Kylie in the stroller and we did the first loop together then I took off by myself when they exited the trail for the playground.

I was happy when she pinged me last night and asked if we could meet for some exercise this morning. I'd been planning to get a run in but having someone to talk to was welcome today. It would have been tempting to sleep in today and accountability to someone other than myself made me set my alarm and put on those running shoes.

It was a nice morning and it looks to be a nice day in Houston. Not sure how I'll spend the rest of the day. I'll find something to keep me busy. For now, I'm enjoying a cup of coffee and a smoothie. I needed to use up the produce in my fridge: Yogurt, a splash of orange juice, ripe avocado, a few baby spinach leaves, fresh blueberries and pineapple chunks. Yum! Have a great weekend, Readers!