Pledge to One's Self

A pledge to not,
to none, to self.
So there it sits
upon the shelf.
But how to do it?
How to be
the one where two
I thought I'd be?
Commit to void,
to empty space.
Turning 'round,
I caught your face.
Looking back in
my mind's eye,
as I walk off
we've said goodbyes.
It seemed the answer,
was so clear.
Now in this promise
is bred a fear
of holding on to nothing,
of losing for the sake
of winning an illusion
that isn't worth the stake.


I've written several pieces that received comments (on another blog site) from women regarding the fear we, as women, can face when making the decision to be alone. The interesting thing to me, is this. Strong women (and I suspect strong men, also) may be able to make incredibly difficult decisions at work without trepidation, but when faced with relationship decisions...we waiver, quiver, and question. Of course, we question, for emotions are at stake. But emotions are also wrapped around and through and tangled to the point of tripping us when perhaps we (I) should simply be stepping through the door. This was the case in the relationship that dragged on and on until I finally pledged to myself that being alone by myself was better than being alone next to someone.