What...balanced?

She said she was struck by my balance. I had to concentrate on her words. I couldn't have heard correctly. Balanced? Who, me? We were talking about a personal issue. Personal, career, emotional, spiritual. It's all been a big whirl to me as of late.

Until I heard her words I could have sworn I was off balance, out of kilter. I thought I was walking a tight wire stretched across a bayou. The water was rushing below, pulling Houston flotsam with it, mucking with my peripheral vision and forcing me to close my eyes lest I tilt from vertigo. The slightest breeze from the gulf might just have caused me to sway. I might have swayed enough to lose my footing and plunge into the murk. Sometimes my perspective is just whacked.

But I'm holding it together. I'm having to work at it, this is for certain. As far as my job goes, I don't believe I've worked this hard in a very, very long time. The difference is that I am concentrating on the goal at the end of the wire. I have shut my eyes, I have blocked the stimuli that might have previously caused me so much distress. I may not be getting breaks at work, but I'm standing up and stretching when I can, or if I'm scrubbed and waiting for pathology, I'm grabbing five minutes on a seat. Extreme organization, email, and delegation are lifesavers right now. I'm keeping little reminders of what's important with me during the day, touchstones to keep me grounded. I've talked to my family more in the last couple of weeks than is usual...I'm very grateful for that.

So that's the career part. The rest? It's not so different, really. I'm just focused on the end of the wire. I keep my touchstones with me. I'm trying very hard to remember what is important and to sort out what is not.

Things will be back to normal (whatever that is) soon. In the meantime, I'm going to take a vacation, the work (and life) will be there when I get back. I'm going to read a book. I'm going to count my blessings. I have so many.