Forever

So what is forever, anyway? One of the administrative assistants at work used that word today. Forever. We were talking about jewelry. I told her I'm wearing a special piece of jewelry right now because every time I see it, I'm reminded of the person who gave it to me. I'm very fond of the bracelet. I'm more fond of the person. I miss him. She offered not to talk about him. She was afraid it would make me sad. I told her, no...I appreciate the reminder. It makes him closer. It's ok.

I'm watching television now, waiting to go to the gym. I'm spending a lot of time at the gym these days. That's what I'm doing with my time. Spending it. Filling it. I don't want to waste it. I don't have forever, do I? Do I have the luxury of so many minutes and hours on this planet that I can simply sit, and waste away my life? I don't think so. Anyway, a commercial came on for diamonds. And a reference to "forever". I have diamonds that I haven't seen in years. They were supposed to signify forever. They are simply stones, set in metal, sitting in a box, laying in a drawer, resting in a dresser, standing in a room, more or less forgotten. I suppose they will be here forever, but they certainly no longer mean forever.

The words and experiences that have formed memories are forever. Certainly, I will forget specific words. But for now, the memories must suffice. For now, I can think of someone who isn't next to me and know that no matter what the future brings, we have our past and we have today. Even a sad moment can bring about a happy thought if I consider the whole picture. Our yesterdays have built our todays and our tomorrows have even more potential.

Amidst the realization that my memories are sustaining, the world is not standing still. I have been given so many incredible opportunities to interact, and notice, and live. So... here is forever, what I choose to make of it, how I choose to live it, certainly not waiting for it to happen. For if I wait for it, I fear it will end up in a box, in a dresser, standing in a room...more or less forgotten.