The surprise is the knuckle,
the bend.
The signs point to a straight path
but near the end waits
a stumble,
a falter.
Unseen detours pose risk to
he who treads;
perhaps more to he who holds title.
Not trespass - true -
but to what breaches do missteps lead?
Such long travels!
Oh, to rest in the crook
and gain the strength to continue
this journey.
Strike on and look forward, traveler.
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First off - love the title. Second, I thought this was great, but I was especially struck by the imagery in the first stanza. I think I would've liked to have seen more about the specifics of the procedure and a little less on the allegorical traveler, but it's still a strong piece as it stands now.
ReplyDeleteNicely done.
Thanks RH. I feel this one comes up short and I think you've hit the mark with the reason why. I strayed away from the journey and moved onto the traveler. I wanted so much to portray that bend in the road as a potental safe haven, though. It needs reworking. I appreciate your comments, as always.
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