I had almost 2 hours before my flight out of Sacramento yesterday and I wanted to sit, rest, and attempt a collection of myself - if not my thoughts. The last week was nonstop tasks and tears, then more tears followed by more tasks. We said goodbye to my Dad. Such a shock.
I found the little wine bar that I'd previously frequented and claimed a table in the corner. The family enjoyed some fabulous wines the last few days. Dad would have wanted it that way. Yesterday I chose a moderate South American glass of red to go with my penne and cheese. The pasta came with smoked gouda and truffle oil. Not typical macaroni and cheese, but certainly comfort food. I rounded it out with a small green salad. I know music played above. I remember hearing Willie Nelson at one point, but mostly I heard/felt/thought nothing...until I started looking deeper into that glass and so many of the dinners, the trip to Napa, the glasses we shared came back. I had no more tears left (at least not at that point yesterday morning). They would resurface later in the day. I pulled out a notepad and wrote.
Blackberry and Leather
Purple swirls and my thoughts
pull down the sides of the glass.
I wonder if I will ever enjoy
this again
without thinking of you.
The notes you taught me
sing on crystal edge.
Cherry.
Lavender.
Earth.
Mocha.
Time? No meaning.
I am standing in
row upon row of
brilliant yellow.
The mustard plants compete with
piercing blue of Napa sky
and I know there must be more
to this than that.
M. Scofield 02/02/10
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Thanks for the update, Michelle.
ReplyDeleteI won't offer any platitudes of comfort. We each have to deal with these things for ourselves. But I do feel for you.
Look after yourself.