Light Shines on the Steps

My week? Depends on how you look at it. I've been sailing along with an easy work schedule. I managed to dodge some bug. (Felt feverish and jumped right on it with lots of orange juice and a hearty bowl of Vietnamese chicken soup.) My social calendar has been just full enough to keep me busy without stressing me out. I've taken three yoga classes and I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Sounds great right?

Depends on how you look at it.

I've been listening as people I love have filled me in on the difficulties of their respective weeks. My heart has ached a little for each one because there isn't a whole lot I can do besides be present - several states away sometimes. All I can do is listen and offer up bits of advice if they're wanting that kind of help. I can't fix everything. Most likely I can't fix anything.

I'm walking those steps again this week. OK, I walk them every week but sometimes I'm even more aware of my journey down that path. This week I had many nudges that told me, "Just be there. That's all you can do."

On two separate occasions I witnessed women I don't know all that well, making themselves crazy attempting to control situations that are entirely out of their hands. They were micro-managing the macro. They were trying to tweeze tiny minutiae in haystacks while combines swept the fields around them. They were so wrapped up in their projects - the importance of their own agendas - that I wondered what they would see when they looked up and all was gone. My guess (my hunch) is that they would still be wrapped up in the details and mourning the loss of control, rather than the loss of the relationship. How do I make up stories in my head about people I don't know? Only because I led that life before. I only think/write/ponder about it occasionally to remind myself of where I don't want to be again.

So sometimes all I can do is listen.

If I haven't been stepping up enough, the ones I love do a pretty good job of saying, "Hey! I need help!" They know I've been working these steps to give up my controlling ways. It's been a lot of years.

Weeks like this, when it seems the world decides to put the smackdown on more than one of my loved ones at the same time, magnify stress. The steps seem a little steeper. I know I can manage, and so can all of those who make my life so very sweet.

Now we're back to that, "...depends on how you look at it." I have people in my life who are willing to talk to me about their problems and worries. What a sweet, loving, trusting gift that is.

My week was wonderful. I hope yours was too. If you need me, all you have to do is ask.