Incidentally

We've all heard about incidental findings: 

The kid who is hit by a baseball at Little League and undergoes a scan only to be diagnosed with a benign sinus tumor that is resected and he goes on to live happily ever after. 

The woman with the giant thymoma picked up on a preop chest Xray.

The broken axle found when a car is taken in for an oil change.

I've seen all of these.  And yeah, that was my car.  Once upon a time.  I took it to another mechanic to make sure I wasn't being scammed.  I wasn't.  Damned Texas potholes.

I try not to give too much credit to fate.  Or should I say Fate.  I like to think that things happen and sometimes we're in the right place at the right time and we find out about them and we can do something about it.  I'm not always sure what "right" means.  Oh, for a sinus tumor, or a chest mass, or a broken car it's usually fairly clear cut.

Sometimes, though.

It's not.

I lost a friend last year.  Rather, I chose to let him go.  It was a painful, long-fought decision that came after months of struggle on both our parts.  The months following the decision were lonely and I questioned myself.  Often.  And then the strangest thing happened.  People started incidentally coming into my life in different (read: "new") ways.  These were people I'd known, I'd spent a little time with, but I hadn't put a lot of energy into friendships because these people didn't require much of me besides enjoying their company.  Anyway...

It was as if they were being held up to a viewing box and I was able to examine their qualities more clearly.  (When I first started as a PA, I used to have to look at radiographic films that way.  Just to clarify things for the young pups reading this.)

These people were present all along but I wasn't as aware of them as I could have been. 

I'm sitting here again.  In my state of gratitude. 

For friends.  You were there all along.  Thank you for waiting for me to learn to appreciate you.   I'll keep working on it.  I promise.

   



p.s.  And for the first one of you who thinks I've compared you to a thymoma.  No, not exactly.  :)       Now, hush.   

p.p.s.  And for my PA classmates.  Did reading this make any of you go through the Terrible T's?  It did me. 



©Michelle Scofield, March 22, 2013 All Rights Reserved