So, yeah. It's been a long time. I've heard:
"I miss your blog."
"You have a blog?"
"What happened to your blog?"
I've been busy living and (sometimes) running and trying to sort out things too numerous to count.
Resolutions can be strong motivators. I made one on the first of January last year. I resolved to be out of my job by the last of December. You see, I didn't like my job - in ways too numerous to count although I wasn't really doing anything about it.
As the year went on, the count increased along with my unhappiness. I wasn't sleeping well. I was gaining weight. I was losing interest in activities that used to make me happy. Look up depression in the dictionary. Doesn't matter which one, any will do. I was a textbook case. I was also irritable, struggling very hard to focus, and withdrawn. I was not only depressed, I was burned out.
Several things happened in rapid order: My job responsibilities increased dramatically without increase in compensation. I lost my lease and had to move immediately. I required surgery (that called for at least two weeks off work and six weeks off running). My work hours increased on top of the additional job responsibilities.
Do you remember the experiments we did in Chemistry class to demonstrate saturation? We'd take a glass beaker and fill it with solution, heat it up, stir in another solution - bit by bit - until, Presto! A precipitate would form in the beaker and we'd document the exact time/temperature/volumes at which we'd created a snowstorm in a glass.
My snowstorm happened on the twenty-first of November. It wasn't really that cold outside but when I left a meeting and walked into the fresh air, I knew that I was saturated and that I was doing something. Finally.
By the thirty-first of December, my resolution was accomplished.
So that's behind me now.
Let's move on.
Remember those six weeks of no running? Sure made a marathon last weekend seem difficult. Once cleared to walk, I did. I switched to the half marathon and with very few training miles under my belt ran it anyway. I'm happy to tell you that I finished and I have the t-shirt. (And a medal.)
Thanks to my faithful friends and readers who encourage me. I'm excited about the next chapter(s) in my book. What's most exciting is that I get to write them every day. I didn't make a New Year's resolution this year. Instead, I've made lists - too numerous to count.
Stay tuned.
©Michelle Scofield, January 22, 2015, All Rights Reserved
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Happier Background Music
7:10am 75 degrees 4.02 miles 47:16 11:45 pace
One of the weather sites says 100% humidity. I thought that meant it was raining. I'm no meteorologist so I haven't a clue as to what's correct but, dang! It's humid! It also smells like someone's burning a wood pile out there. Or maybe there was a house fire. Whatever. I coughed and "ahem'd" my way through my morning run. I have an inhaler prescription for exercise-induced asthma. Today was the first time in a long time that I felt symptoms and thought about using it pre-run next time.
Excuse me while I go check the air quality on another site...
...The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality says it's all within the "Good" Range. Guess it's just the humidity.
Lately I'm finding myself in a bit of an excuse-making mode. Since completing last year's marathon and taking time off to recover, I honestly haven't wanted to run again. It's a drag. It's time-consuming. It hurts. I got so busy at work that I was overcome with fatigue and couldn't manage a run. My legs felt like lead. I put on 15 of the pounds that I dropped during marathon training. (It's no wonder my legs felt heavy!) I moved and it's not safe to run in my new neighborhood in the very early morning. It's been too hot to run in the evenings.
Here's the thing about running. For me.
I keep depression at bay with what I admit is sheer defiance. When I'm not running, I white knuckle my way through my days. Running not only gives me something to look forward to, I absolutely believe it raises my seratonin levels and acts as a natural antidepressant.
Training for the 2014 Houston Marathon begins next week. I'm feeling more positive about running and more excited about it. I know it's not going to be easy. Last year I didn't use music much while I ran but I tried it again yesterday and I was happy for the diversion. I think there has been so much negative out there pushing it's way into my head and I need to find a way to drown it out. I'll be checking out Itunes for kicky stuff to make me smile while I'm on the trails.
Yeah, yeah. The negative stuff needs to be dealt with. Maybe. Some of it. Some of it will never change. (Going back to my 12 steps again. They come in handy.) Running is for ME! Reworking someone else's garbage during my time, in my running shoes, doesn't seem to be productive or healthy.
I hereby declare this marathon training season mine. I don't need to solve the problems of work or world while I run. I'm going to do my very best to enjoy it.
There! I feel better already. Kind of. :)
©Michelle Scofield, September 15, 2013 All Rights Reserved
One of the weather sites says 100% humidity. I thought that meant it was raining. I'm no meteorologist so I haven't a clue as to what's correct but, dang! It's humid! It also smells like someone's burning a wood pile out there. Or maybe there was a house fire. Whatever. I coughed and "ahem'd" my way through my morning run. I have an inhaler prescription for exercise-induced asthma. Today was the first time in a long time that I felt symptoms and thought about using it pre-run next time.
Excuse me while I go check the air quality on another site...
...The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality says it's all within the "Good" Range. Guess it's just the humidity.
Lately I'm finding myself in a bit of an excuse-making mode. Since completing last year's marathon and taking time off to recover, I honestly haven't wanted to run again. It's a drag. It's time-consuming. It hurts. I got so busy at work that I was overcome with fatigue and couldn't manage a run. My legs felt like lead. I put on 15 of the pounds that I dropped during marathon training. (It's no wonder my legs felt heavy!) I moved and it's not safe to run in my new neighborhood in the very early morning. It's been too hot to run in the evenings.
Here's the thing about running. For me.
I keep depression at bay with what I admit is sheer defiance. When I'm not running, I white knuckle my way through my days. Running not only gives me something to look forward to, I absolutely believe it raises my seratonin levels and acts as a natural antidepressant.
Training for the 2014 Houston Marathon begins next week. I'm feeling more positive about running and more excited about it. I know it's not going to be easy. Last year I didn't use music much while I ran but I tried it again yesterday and I was happy for the diversion. I think there has been so much negative out there pushing it's way into my head and I need to find a way to drown it out. I'll be checking out Itunes for kicky stuff to make me smile while I'm on the trails.
Yeah, yeah. The negative stuff needs to be dealt with. Maybe. Some of it. Some of it will never change. (Going back to my 12 steps again. They come in handy.) Running is for ME! Reworking someone else's garbage during my time, in my running shoes, doesn't seem to be productive or healthy.
I hereby declare this marathon training season mine. I don't need to solve the problems of work or world while I run. I'm going to do my very best to enjoy it.
There! I feel better already. Kind of. :)
©Michelle Scofield, September 15, 2013 All Rights Reserved
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Weighed Down with Facts
7:10 am 75 degrees 2.89 miles 35.25 12:17 pace
Ran most of it, walked a small part of it. My legs feel heavy. It's been a rough week emotionally.
I do my best not to carry my work home.
It's not always easy.
(I woke this morning from a dream about a sick patient I can no longer help.)
I need to run more.
It's not easy. It's easier to fall into dinner and a chair after work.
(It's hot as hell and it takes planning and care to go for a run and remain any sort of hydrated.)
Fact. The less I run, the worse I feel.
Fact. The less I run, the harder it is to run.
Fact. When I run, for those thirty to how-ever-many-minutes, my brain goes on a splendorous free association journey and it's rarely at work. Look! A bluejay!
©Michelle Scofield, August 3, 2013 All Rights Reserved
Ran most of it, walked a small part of it. My legs feel heavy. It's been a rough week emotionally.
I do my best not to carry my work home.
It's not always easy.
(I woke this morning from a dream about a sick patient I can no longer help.)
I need to run more.
It's not easy. It's easier to fall into dinner and a chair after work.
(It's hot as hell and it takes planning and care to go for a run and remain any sort of hydrated.)
Fact. The less I run, the worse I feel.
Fact. The less I run, the harder it is to run.
Fact. When I run, for those thirty to how-ever-many-minutes, my brain goes on a splendorous free association journey and it's rarely at work. Look! A bluejay!
©Michelle Scofield, August 3, 2013 All Rights Reserved
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Choices
7:20am 3.49 miles 38:29 11:02 pace 78degrees
I received no less than 4 email notices for 4th of July races. I saved them for a few weeks but ultimately they were deleted. It would be too hot. I've spent a lot of money lately and I can run for free. I would want to rest on my day off work in the middle of the week. Reason after reason after reason.
I've been running/walking/stair climbing. I ran on the treadmill Tuesday night because it's been too dangerously hot outside to be in the park and my eyes and lungs have been bothered by (I'm guessing?) high ozone levels in Houston. (Possibly by a fire in my neighborhood Tuesday morning. Could be.) Anyway...I picked up some liquid tears and I'm feeling a lot better.
My stress levels were higher than the temperature as I went through American Heart Association Advanced Cardiac Life Support certification this week. It's been several years since I had to memorize heart blocks and cardiac medication doses. I was feeling old and memory-impaired. I was worried. Really, really worried. Without ACLS certification my job would be on the line. (This certification wasn't a requirement when I was hired and I thought ACLS was far behind me.) I passed my course yesterday, stuck my card in my briefcase, drove home, and passed out on my couch for a 2 hour nap. I woke long enough to fix a healthy dinner, watched some trash television and then collapsed in bed and slept through the night.
On waking this morning, I wanted nothing more than to go for a run.
It wasn't too hot and I wasn't too tired.
I didn't miss driving to some crowded venue to fight for a parking spot and standing around on the asphalt - wishing I'd visited the port-a-potty one more time.
I'm enjoying my cup of coffee, half a bagel, and peanut butter.
Happy Independence Day and here's to the freedom to make choices.
©Michelle Scofield, July 4, 2013 All Rights Reserved
I received no less than 4 email notices for 4th of July races. I saved them for a few weeks but ultimately they were deleted. It would be too hot. I've spent a lot of money lately and I can run for free. I would want to rest on my day off work in the middle of the week. Reason after reason after reason.
I've been running/walking/stair climbing. I ran on the treadmill Tuesday night because it's been too dangerously hot outside to be in the park and my eyes and lungs have been bothered by (I'm guessing?) high ozone levels in Houston. (Possibly by a fire in my neighborhood Tuesday morning. Could be.) Anyway...I picked up some liquid tears and I'm feeling a lot better.
My stress levels were higher than the temperature as I went through American Heart Association Advanced Cardiac Life Support certification this week. It's been several years since I had to memorize heart blocks and cardiac medication doses. I was feeling old and memory-impaired. I was worried. Really, really worried. Without ACLS certification my job would be on the line. (This certification wasn't a requirement when I was hired and I thought ACLS was far behind me.) I passed my course yesterday, stuck my card in my briefcase, drove home, and passed out on my couch for a 2 hour nap. I woke long enough to fix a healthy dinner, watched some trash television and then collapsed in bed and slept through the night.
On waking this morning, I wanted nothing more than to go for a run.
It wasn't too hot and I wasn't too tired.
I didn't miss driving to some crowded venue to fight for a parking spot and standing around on the asphalt - wishing I'd visited the port-a-potty one more time.
I'm enjoying my cup of coffee, half a bagel, and peanut butter.
Happy Independence Day and here's to the freedom to make choices.
©Michelle Scofield, July 4, 2013 All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Mirror, Mirror
Days to Chevron Houston Marathon: 10
Planned Run: 4 miles
4.02 miles 45:38 11:21 pace
4:15 pm 43 degrees
Sometimes when I run, my feet aren't the only thing moving. My mind is, too.
Today:
-Gratitude for the depth to which the air can dive into my lungs when I open the space and allow it to clean out the old and bring in the new.
-Gratitude for feeling a door swing past a threshold of reluctance with only the slightest knock from me.
-Gratitude for having a mirror held in reflection of my own so that I didn't lose sight of myself while healing another.
-Gratitude for the opportunity to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
When I think about my career as a clinician, I live for the moments of contact that have nothing to do with laboratory values or breath sounds or wound care. I don't consider diagnosis or prognosis.
Today I am undeniably grateful for the opportunity to interact with my patients on a human level. It's just one of those days. Love, love.
©Michelle Scofield, January 2, 2013 All Rights Reserved
Planned Run: 4 miles
4.02 miles 45:38 11:21 pace
4:15 pm 43 degrees
Sometimes when I run, my feet aren't the only thing moving. My mind is, too.
Today:
-Gratitude for the depth to which the air can dive into my lungs when I open the space and allow it to clean out the old and bring in the new.
-Gratitude for feeling a door swing past a threshold of reluctance with only the slightest knock from me.
-Gratitude for having a mirror held in reflection of my own so that I didn't lose sight of myself while healing another.
-Gratitude for the opportunity to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
When I think about my career as a clinician, I live for the moments of contact that have nothing to do with laboratory values or breath sounds or wound care. I don't consider diagnosis or prognosis.
Today I am undeniably grateful for the opportunity to interact with my patients on a human level. It's just one of those days. Love, love.
©Michelle Scofield, January 2, 2013 All Rights Reserved
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