Beginning

My friend Matt said I'm amazing. I prefer to say I'm motivated. My new place is put together. Moved in on Wednesday. Pictures hung today. I have a large blank wall that is begging for art. Make that ART. I have a piece in mind, but I've spent way too much money lately. I'm about to spend more as Christmas approaches this week. The artist I've discovered isn't going anywhere - that I know of. She'll be around. She's good, about to make her mark and I want to snag something while she's still an investment.

I can't stand to live in disarray. I'm sure the desire to be settled springs from living in a chaotic household as a child. My brothers and I spent a good deal of the time raising ourselves. It wasn't anyone's fault, it just was the way it was. Our mom had to work and in those days it wasn't unusual for children to be home alone, no matter how young. At least that's the way we knew it. If one of us fell ill, we took care of it. If an injury occured, we damned well better take care of it. Disruptions in routine weren't appreciated. We became quite good at settling things down - for each other. I've learned (as an adult) that I don't need to handle every little disaster that comes along - especially for other people, but I still get antsy and uncomfortable around chaos. I'm afraid I'll get in some sort of trouble. Pathologic? Probably. I make it work.

I'm very happy that I've made this new place work. It's not the townhouse I wanted. No way I'm going to purchase when I have no idea if bonus is coming. Times are tough, or so I keep hearing. This is, however, a very nice place for me to be.

My friend Matt (and my other friends) keep telling me I deserve it. They say I've worked very hard and I should spend the money on a place that makes me comfortable, that reflects my sense of self. Well, I've certainly done that. Here's to being comfortable. Cheers!