Top Five Quotes From 2009

I didn’t pay for any of these. About three years ago (when I started taking the task of writing as seriously as I’ve ever taken the task of writing), I began offering people five dollars for phrases and sentences that I anticipated stealing and working into my own words later on. I figured if I paid for the words of others it wouldn’t be actual plagiarism, or at least I’d tell my word-victims that it wasn’t stealing and then I’d be off Scot-free.

About three years ago, people actually took my money. I think I doled out about forty bucks over several months and then friends and family started reading my stuff and stopped taking my money. I don’t know if they thought I was that good and they were happy to be part of something grand or if they thought I was that awful and they felt sorry for me. I offered cash as recently as last week. It was declined.

Here are some words that stood out for me this year.

#5. “I don’t care what you think. We’ll save money and it will look just fine if we only paint the front of the trailer and leave the sides alone.” Overheard at the next table at breakfast – Carnival Ecstasy Halloween Cruise.

#4. “Hello, I’m Satan.” Same cruise. The guy had a great Halloween costume and persona going. An entire cruise ship seemed to be enticed by him. Unfortunately his name was really Tim. He was from Dickenson and he wasn’t quite as fascinating in his cargo shorts and flipflops.

#3. “It’s four ten-to-twelve hour days. Of course you’ll be working on your days off, too. That’s a given.” Let’s just say we’re “living in difficult economic times”. D’oh! That’s three and a half quotes!

#2. “Drop a deuce! You can do it!” Trivial Pursuit with my family was hilarious as my Dad kept trying to get the guys to roll a two.

#1. ***“I love you.”


Please feel free to add your own. I’m not paying for them. I’d just like to read them.



***Did you expect me to expand on this? Not here, not now.