3.01 miles 36:57 12:17 pace 5:00 pm 81 degrees
I waivered. Would I or wouldn't I? I did but it was tough. So this is my way of working through the toughness. Fear not, Dear Reader. It's just what I have to do. My keyboard is my Analyst. :)
I'm fighting...what? Allergies? The beginning of a cold? I felt pretty miserable this weekend with a runny nose and gobbled Benadryl like candy. That made me groggy and dry. I thought I was better yesterday but my eyes were itchy and uncomfortable this morning. (I stayed up too late last night watching C-Span and cursing at the impasse in our nation's capital.) Late this morning I started feeling a little tickle in my throat. There was some painting going on in my clinic. I tried to chalk it up to that. By 3 pm I was feeling pretty punk. I took my temperature and it was a perfect 98.6. I came home and was feeling better. I put on my running shoes.
My mood is less than sparkling. I've had to check my ego a couple times already this week. This life is about a million other things than being liked or being popular. At 53 years old, I can still get zapped by things that used to hurt me when I was 13.
It's good to remember that under the graying hair and the crow's feet lives that girl. She was extremely outspoken and didn't like to be seen as weak or vulnerable. She isolated herself and she didn't suffer fools - including herself. She was also less than unique. The world is full of grown up children. What else could we be?
Related to running, I'm dealing with: I'm. So. Slow.
This is not good for my training. Creeping up from below is a thought. "I can quit. I don't have to do this."
And living in the slime. Under that. "I'm not good enough."
The world is full of grown up children.
©Michelle Scofield, October 1, 2013 All Rights Reserved
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I won't comment on your struggle, but will send up a prayer for you. What I want to comment on is the writing: I love the last line, "The world is full of grownup children." So true.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I felt so deflated today. Writing has been good to me over the years, a virtual therapy, and I miss my dedication to it. Your comment tonight means a great deal to me. M
ReplyDeleteM, I'm keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers. We all have those days, those voices in our heads. We really are all just grownup children. Love you! Can't wait to see you on Friday!
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