Connection

Today was for stretching. I woke up and went through 20 minutes of Sun Salutation, Warrior, and Triangle with the Nintendo Wii. I've taken formal yoga classes and done yoga on my own. I like the Wii for a few things, but mostly for making me be accountable to myself. I'm so OCD. The poses felt good this morning, I was able to push gently, easing into my stretch yet not straining.

I had a massage at 10:00 at Massage Envy. It's a company that offers a monthly membership at a pretty good rate. I've had a membership for several years and I pay $49/month and receive 1 massage, then each additional is only $39. It's a good deal for me. I asked Samantha to concentrate on my back and shoulders. A long surgery Monday left me pretty sore from holding retraction. She worked out a few knots. I noticed, as she moved from one side of my body to the other, that she left her hand on me and trailed it across - never taking it from the surface of my back. I asked her to explain that to me. I thought I knew why.

"It's so we don't lose our connection, right?"

"Well, it's more than that. I don't want you to get stressed." She adjusted the bolster under my knees. "Right now this room is dark. You're face down. You don't know where I am. This way you always know my location. This is important when I'm trying to help you to feel better. It's really about your vulnerability. I know you're very vulnerable right now. You shouldn't need to worry. You might not even know you're worried, but your body does. I'm here to take care of you."

All I could do was thank her for her explanation. It wasn't time for more words. I couldn't have produced them anyway.

Losing touch is not the issue, keeping touch is. I don't know what to do with this today, other than write it. I need to write it. It feels like it needs to be examined, perhaps there is more yoga to be done (without Wii) tonight, or a session of meditation/prayer. I am in need of connection.