Friday

This is what I'm fighting today. Fatigue. I worked a nine and half hour clinic yesterday, straight through. I stopped for some grilled chicken tacos, leaving most of the soft taco shells for the garbage can, concentrating on the veggies, salsa and protein instead. I watched a netflix movie and fell into bed around ten last night, thinking I might get up and run but instead let my alarm jolt me up at five so I could be ready for the operating room if needed.

I know the coffee I poured into myself all day today wasn't helpful. Although I'm tired, I have an underlying tremulousness that speaks to anxiety over an unresolved situation that lurks outside my control. I'm trying to find new living quarters, I can't get a straight answer about my retirement account and exactly when I'm vested. A friend asked me for a loan and I had to turn her down. I think that bothered me the most, knowing that she was in trouble and I simply couldn't help her. Some things are simply out of my control. Again, I come back around to that simple fact.

So I get to what is within my control.

I am looking for a new place. This one has become unsafe, a poor value and the lease is up in a few months. I will preview one house this weekend and am talking with an agent.

I signed up for a 5K next weekend. I need to be around other people having a good time. Races are happy places.

I'll talk to a real person at my retirement fund - I won't stop until I get a real date regarding my employment and my money. It's mine, after all.

Less coffee, more running. It's a goal.