Last Run of the Year

Distance: 2.75 miles
Start time: 6 pm
Run Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 10.9 minutes/mile
Temperature: Climate controlled...comfortable
Humidity: comfortable
Location: Houston, TX

I wanted to get in one more run. I'm supposed to do an easy run this week, 30 minutes. Blah...

Running's not easy anymore. I'm tired of running. January 17th can't come soon enough.

I'm throwing a party tonight and I had a couple hours between cooking and putting my pretty on. I ran. OK, it's done.

Oh, just one thing. Whoever invented the zipper-in-the-back-of-the-dress thing should be punished. Severely. Single gals suffer.

Tomorrow is a new year. My guests are on the way. Happy happy, people!

Top Five Quotes From 2009

I didn’t pay for any of these. About three years ago (when I started taking the task of writing as seriously as I’ve ever taken the task of writing), I began offering people five dollars for phrases and sentences that I anticipated stealing and working into my own words later on. I figured if I paid for the words of others it wouldn’t be actual plagiarism, or at least I’d tell my word-victims that it wasn’t stealing and then I’d be off Scot-free.

About three years ago, people actually took my money. I think I doled out about forty bucks over several months and then friends and family started reading my stuff and stopped taking my money. I don’t know if they thought I was that good and they were happy to be part of something grand or if they thought I was that awful and they felt sorry for me. I offered cash as recently as last week. It was declined.

Here are some words that stood out for me this year.

#5. “I don’t care what you think. We’ll save money and it will look just fine if we only paint the front of the trailer and leave the sides alone.” Overheard at the next table at breakfast – Carnival Ecstasy Halloween Cruise.

#4. “Hello, I’m Satan.” Same cruise. The guy had a great Halloween costume and persona going. An entire cruise ship seemed to be enticed by him. Unfortunately his name was really Tim. He was from Dickenson and he wasn’t quite as fascinating in his cargo shorts and flipflops.

#3. “It’s four ten-to-twelve hour days. Of course you’ll be working on your days off, too. That’s a given.” Let’s just say we’re “living in difficult economic times”. D’oh! That’s three and a half quotes!

#2. “Drop a deuce! You can do it!” Trivial Pursuit with my family was hilarious as my Dad kept trying to get the guys to roll a two.

#1. ***“I love you.”


Please feel free to add your own. I’m not paying for them. I’d just like to read them.



***Did you expect me to expand on this? Not here, not now.

5 Mile Tuesday

Distance: 5 miles
Start time: 5:30 am
Run Duration: 56 minutes
Average Pace: 11.2 minutes/mile
Temperature: Climate controlled...comfortable
Humidity: comfortable
Location: Houston, TX

Oh, this fitness facility is much better! First time at my new place. Nice treadmills (as treadmills go, I'm still not a fan), clean carpets, individual televisions with audio jacks so I can listen to what I want to (CNN not FOX). I like it!

It would have been nice to go to the park this morning, but it's only 36 degrees out and it's supposed to start drizzling. Not the pleasant run I had in mind. I'll try to get that one in later in the week. The big run is just around the corner in mid-January. I was thinking of buying some new shoes and thought, nah...I'll just let these get me through.

I hope all who read this have a great day. Lately I've learned that many more read than I knew. To all you stealth readers, thanks for giving me a glance once in awhile. To those who comment, thanks for stoking the fires of my ego. :)

This Is Training?

12/24/09

Distance: 4.8 miles
Start time: 5:00 am
Run Duration: 52 minutes
Average Pace: 10.8 minutes/mile
Temperature: Climate controlled...comfortable
Humidity: comfortable
Location: Hotel Lucia, Portland, OR

12/25/09

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 6:00 am
Run Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 10 minutes/mile
Temperature: Climate controlled...comfortable
Humidity: comfortable
Location: Hotel Lucia, Portland, OR

I returned to Houston after midnight last night. Long flight from Portland after almost 5 days of fantastic family time. I say "almost" because travel gobbled up part of those days, but our family knows how to eek out every bit of together-time.

My daughter met me at the airport Wednesday and we were off, enjoying a quick bite to eat, a little thriftshop browsing and then I checked in at the Hotel Lucia, a lovely boutique hotel in Portland. My father also stayed there so he and I were able to hang out a bit while were resting up or waiting for others to come to town. My son and his fiance were caught in the massive storm that stalled air traffic for an entire day. Our family simply postponed Christmas dinner and ate at midnight on the 25th when the weary travelers arrived. (It was a delicious dinner, by the way.)

I managed to get miles in, on the treadmill. I'd hoped to run near the river in Portland, but it was quite cold with highs in the 30's and I had no clue as to my directions there. I was sure I'd get lost and end up as a popsicle in running shoes. Better to stick with the perfectly adequate fitness center at the hotel.

Good thing I put in the miles. In addition to the wonderful meals my daughter cooked, AND a brunch out with the family, yesterday morning we all went to Voodoo Doughnuts. I'm pretty sure a Maple Bacon Log doesn't sit on the training tables of most serious athletes. Maybe my diet was lacking a bit while I was in Portland. The love I felt and the laughter more than made up for it. I'm certain of that.

Lifting up gratitude for my family.

Beginning

My friend Matt said I'm amazing. I prefer to say I'm motivated. My new place is put together. Moved in on Wednesday. Pictures hung today. I have a large blank wall that is begging for art. Make that ART. I have a piece in mind, but I've spent way too much money lately. I'm about to spend more as Christmas approaches this week. The artist I've discovered isn't going anywhere - that I know of. She'll be around. She's good, about to make her mark and I want to snag something while she's still an investment.

I can't stand to live in disarray. I'm sure the desire to be settled springs from living in a chaotic household as a child. My brothers and I spent a good deal of the time raising ourselves. It wasn't anyone's fault, it just was the way it was. Our mom had to work and in those days it wasn't unusual for children to be home alone, no matter how young. At least that's the way we knew it. If one of us fell ill, we took care of it. If an injury occured, we damned well better take care of it. Disruptions in routine weren't appreciated. We became quite good at settling things down - for each other. I've learned (as an adult) that I don't need to handle every little disaster that comes along - especially for other people, but I still get antsy and uncomfortable around chaos. I'm afraid I'll get in some sort of trouble. Pathologic? Probably. I make it work.

I'm very happy that I've made this new place work. It's not the townhouse I wanted. No way I'm going to purchase when I have no idea if bonus is coming. Times are tough, or so I keep hearing. This is, however, a very nice place for me to be.

My friend Matt (and my other friends) keep telling me I deserve it. They say I've worked very hard and I should spend the money on a place that makes me comfortable, that reflects my sense of self. Well, I've certainly done that. Here's to being comfortable. Cheers!

Grit

Distance: 4 miles
Start time: 5:47 am
Run Duration: 38 minutes
Average Pace: 9.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 47
Humidity: 96%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I'm feeling a need to push on. I'm not sure where it's coming from or why it's there, I just know it is.

I woke at 5am, no alarm. I'd slept fairly soundly. I'm still sore but I feel better when I move. I went to the park and I ran.

The half-marathon is now less than a month away. I think I can do this. It's not going to be easy. I guess it shouldn't be.

File This One Under Faith

Distance: 8 miles
Start time: 6:43 am
Run Duration: 86 minutes
Average Pace: 10.75 minutes/mile
Temperature: 45
Humidity: 50%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

Sometimes I have to believe - in myself, in circumstance, in others, in whatever faith tells me to believe in.

Today I am hurting so bad physically. My lower back has moved past ache into the type of pain that has me reaching not for Advil but for Arthrotec. I haven't used that prescription since I had a chostochondritis that sent me to the doctor about a year ago. I'm stifling groans as I bend and my knees protest the movement. Movement. That's what this is all about. I'm unpacking boxes. I'm bending, reaching, stretching, straining. It's great exercise, but it's different exercise and my body is telling me so.

This weekend's training schedule called for an 8 mile run. Holy baby Jesus sleeping in the manger with wise men watching and bringing gifts! How could I possibly do this?

Faith.

I believed that I could. I told myself I would set a pace at about 11 minutes/mile and get out there and do it. I did it. I feel less stiff. I'm ready to tackle the rest of these boxes. Or at least 1 or 2 of them.

Today I'm lifting up gratitude for belief in myself. (I'm not sure I can lift anything else.)

Ending

Last night in this space.

I'm not going to sleep in my bed. I've taken it apart. The mattress and boxspring sit on the floor, the headboard and footboard balance against the wall. I laundered the sheets so I could have fresh linens to sleep on tomorrow night when I finally fall into what I anticipate will be a much deserved, deep slumber.

I'll sleep on the couch tonight.

I can't imagine that all these boxes will fit into the moving truck, but the man told me they would.

The television has been blaring in the background for hours as I clean tubs and floors and pack a few more things. I'm not paying attention to what's on the tube but I know that I won't have cable after I move. I've made the decision not to subscribe. I want to devote more time to reading and writing. Hopefully much more time to writing.

I'm happy to be leaving this place. I'm sad to be packing by myself. I had hopes that were (I'm being honest here) dashed. I dared to dream and I'm wide awake now. Not all dreams come true.

So it's time to embark on a new adventure. I'm ending this one.

Tomorrow is a beginning. I'll catch up with you when next I can log on. Take care, readers.

Projects

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 12:06 pm
Run Duration: 35 minutes
Average Pace: 11.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 54
Humidity: 94%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I met my friend, Laurel, for a run/walk around the loop. We jogged a little, walked a little, jogged a little more. It's fun to be out with someone who is trying to improve her fitness regimen. It kept my mind on the moment and that's a good thing for me. I have so much going on with this move, still so many boxes to pack and it was tempting to just blow off the run today and stay buried in my apartment and pack, pack, pack.

I threw away a lot of stuff today. If I haven't used it in 6 years, I'm not going to. I've contributed to the demise of our planet, I'm afraid. I donated what I could to Goodwill and took two huge bags full to a shredding center, but I will admit that the landfill will be a little taller because of me. An artificial Christmas tree that's seen better days? Gone. Those strings of lights that I'm not willing to fiddle with to find the bad bulb? Gone. The certificates of attendance from continuing education seminars many, many years ago? I don't need them. They're outta here.

Amid all this cleaning and purging, I'm still excited about a couple of projects that are cooking on my back burner. I don't plan to get cable television hooked up at my new place. I think my mind needs some clarity and less distraction in order to put the details into place. Stay tuned!

Next week will be busy, busy, busy. It's going to take a lot to get my runs in. Fingers crossed!

That's a Road Trip

Distance: 4.5 miles
Start time: 1:30 pm
Run Duration: 45 minutes
Average Pace: 10 minutes/mile
Temperature: again, too freaking hot
Humidity: ?
Location: apartment complex workout room...one more time

I needed to be able to answer my pager, and emails if they should come in. They didn't and I was happy for that. I set the beast (treadmill) for 45 minutes and started running. I finished without dying. Mission accomplished.

As I calculated the miles I've run since starting my training in earnest, I wondered how far I could have gone. Texas is a big state. I knew I couldn't go all the way across Texas. Maybe I could make it to Austin? I could! The distance from my place to downtown Austin is 170 miles. I've put in more than that so far and I'll put in quite a few more before this is finished. I think for a reward - when I complete the Half Marathon - I'll take myself to that fair city for a weekend and treat myself to a nice meal and an evening of music. Decision made. Done deal.

That was easy.

Another First: A Seven Mile Run

Distance: 7 miles
Start time: 7:17 am
Run Duration: 77 minutes
Average Pace: 11 minutes/mile
Temperature: 56 degrees
Humidity: 60%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I understand that the Midwest and Northeast United States are about to get walloped with a massive winter storm. I'm sorry and I'll be thinking about you as you try to stay warm and safe. I don't miss winter weather one bit. Our weathermen are flapping about like chickens with their heads off. After last weekend's snowy bit they are already squawking about diving temperatures tonight (down to the 30's) and I really have no clue what the upcoming weekend will bring. I was supposed to get in a long run on Sunday and run 3 miles this morning. I had the time today, I was feeling pretty good...

...so I did it! I ran 7 miles and I'm quite happy with myself, if I do say so myself. (insert giggle here)

I was tiring at mile 4, but then something turned over in my brain and I just fell into a zone. Nice morning overall.

If the weather is a mess this weekend, it will be much easier to run 3 than 7.

I'm watching the Channel 2 news as I type this. The weathermen have given way to a Breaking News Alert. There was a chemical plant explosion in Seabrook. Very few details at this time. They're taking phone calls from people who heard or felt the explosion. There is a shelter-in-place order for surrounding communities. It's several miles from me, so I'm not too concerned about my neighborhood, although there is a North wind blowing so I don't know what it may bring this way. I hope everyone is okay. We have so many chemical plants down around the gulf/bay area. It's a scary thing.

I'm lifting a prayer for the safety and well-being of those around that explosion this morning.

Classical Station

This is not an afternoon for Copeland.
Copeland sweeps and stretches across
the breadth of vistas.
There are no vistas.

There is no reach, no expanse.
It all stops here at this
red light/green light.

The gray and damp mock Copeland
as I turn away from the
tap
tap
on my window.
A man with a wooden leg
God Blesses me as makes his way down the row.

Thank you,
bleak,
knowing,
weeping Jesus,
for the dirge.

It breaks this seemingly interminable move toward cheer
and brings me back to the back and forth
of windshield wipers that have no
business trying to break the pattern of this mist,
a mist that is doing all it can to keep up with maudlin Monday.

What Day Is This?

Distance: 4.5 miles
Start time: 5.48 am
Run Duration: 47 minutes
Average Pace: 10.44 minutes/mile
Temperature: 57 degrees
Humidity: 99%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I ran tomorrow's workout today. I didn't realize it until I went to the refrigerator door to place the big red "X" on the schedule. Oh, well. Today was supposed to be an off day. I think all the boxes in my apartment have me disoriented. It looks like I live in a warehouse or something.

I wanted to check out the running group in the Village tomorrow evening anyway. This will give me an opportunity to do that. Everything happens for a reason. The run this morning felt good. Onward!

Rice Owls 5k Run

Distance: 3.1 miles
Start time: 8:00 am
Run Duration: 31.01 minutes
Average Pace: 10.00 minutes/mile
Temperature: 29 degrees
Humidity: 74%
Location: Rice University Campus, Houston, TX

I didn't know how to dress, so I layered and ended up taking off the windbreaker at mile one. The cap and gloves came off soon after. That left me with running tights, stretch pants, a knit turtleneck I ski in and an Underarmor long-sleeve top. I was fine - as far as temperature goes - for the rest of the race. My asthma bothered me in the cold air, but not too much. More of a nagging cough than anything else.

Let's go back to 6:00 this morning. I was in such a hurry to get out of here because I didn't know if the roads would be icy (they were). I forgot my watch. That will play into my run later. My car doors were frozen shut. My windshield wipers were frozen to my windshield. I have a decent ice scraper but it still took me a good 15 minutes to make sure my car was safe to drive. I made it to the Rice campus and realized I didn't have my watch. Too bad. No way was I going to drive back home. I'd just set my pace at what felt like ten minutes/mile.

The point of this post, for me is:

(More than one point.)

Set your gear out the night before.

It always takes longer to de-ice a car than you think it will.

I've been training at ten minute miles long enough now, I know what they feel like.

I was surprised to see a 5K run in my training schedule - at this point in my training for the half. I think I understand now. I'm not in this for the time, I'm in this for the run. As I typed that I felt a nudge at my metaphorical brain, but I don't want to deal with it at this time. I'll save it for later. It feels too heavy and I'm feeling happy and don't want to deal with heavy right now.

Lifting up my gratitude today for perseverence

Cool Running

Distance: 4 miles
Start time: 11:47 am
Run Duration: 42 minutes
Average Pace: 10.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 49 degrees
Humidity: 46%
Location: Hermann Park, Houston, TX

Chilly! Windy!

I packed boxes all morning and thought I'd better hit the running trail before I was too worn out to run. I used my new Spi Belt today. Love it! My keys didn't bounce around and my hands were free. I don't know why I didn't buy one sooner.

The weather is supposed to turn really bad later in the week. Snow is predicted for Friday night and I have a race to run Saturday morning. It's at the Rice University campus, with parking right at the stadium, so that's a good thing. I'm confident in my driving skills on icy streets and it will be early in the morning, so hopefully traffic won't be an issue. We'll see what happens.

I'm over 3/4 packed and am more excited than ever about my new place. Onward and upward.

Treadmill Tuesday

Distance: 2 miles
Start time: 4:30 pm
Run Duration: 20 minutes
Average Pace: 10.0 minutes/mile
Temperature: 85 degrees (Oh. My. God.)
Humidity: No clue. Wasn't going to stick around and figure it out.
Location: The hell known as my apartment complex

The rain is here. I knew it would be. My training schedule is forgiving and I'm allowed to switch days. Wednesday is supposed to be two miles, Tuesday four. I actually thought I could get in four on the treadmill. No way could I stick it out in that heater. Whew! After two miles I'm soaked through and thinking I better get out into the fresh air before I pass out and become a story on the six-o-clock news.

I'll get to the park tomorrow. My legs didn't really enjoy that treadmill anyway. Or Oprah talking on the TV. I'm beginning to see why people just hang their clothes on those things and don't exercise. Outdoors for me.

A Day Off

My training schedule called for "stretching and strength" training today. I got up at 5 am, I realized my blackberry was not working. I had to get to work early and try to get it fixed. I'd workout tonight. No go. I was in surgery until close to 6 pm. I was fried, kind of like my blackberry that's still not fixed. Friends called and asked me to go to dinner. I accepted and put the workout on ice.

I'm supposed to run tomorrow. 4 miles. It's supposed to rain tomorrow. I'm not going to set my alarm. I'm going to get some much needed sleep, hope it's not raining tomorrow evening, or hit the treadmill. Sometimes we need to adjust.

Also, sometimes we need to recognize things for what they are. My day is spent. I'm spent. I need to rest and rebuild. Exerting myself more than what it takes to brush my teeth wouldn't be beneficial. Tomorrow will be there...tomorrow.

Sunday Six

Distance: 6 miles
Start time: 8:09 am
Run Duration: 68 minutes
Average Pace: 11.3 minutes/mile
Temperature: 62 degrees
Humidity: 92%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I feel like I loafed it this morning. I wasn't exactly hustling as I made my way through my miles but as I give it more thought, I'm right where I should be. This is the pace I want to run for the half marathon. I'm on track. This is good.

My training schedule says I should run a 5K race next weekend. I thought I'd be bumping up to 7 miles, but that's not until the next week. Guess I'll go find a race. Or I'll just run 3.1 as fast as I can.

I am so grateful for these last 5 days off work. I needed it. I was so homesick, though. The holiday was wonderful with my friends but I miss my family incredibly. I'm happy that I was able to talk with them. It's just not the same. I'm packing up all my things, getting ready for this move. I think coming across a photo here, a trinket there is not helping my mood. I should probably get out of this apartment for a little while this afternoon and go for a change of scenery. I'm thinking of buying a running belt to hold my keys while I run. Maybe that will take up an hour or so.

Have a great week, readers. Hopefully all the leftovers have been eaten or otherwise disposed of. Anyone want to run a race with me next weekend?

Does Your Wife Know You're Here?

Another etiquette post? Isn't that a bit much? Might I be hitting the rules thing with more vigor than is considered comfortable in polite company? Ah, I do apologize for my enthusiasm around this topic, but it's on my mind.

My training schedule called for forty minutes of crosstraining. What better than dancing? I met my friend for dinner (yes, I had the grilled fish and veggies) and an adult beverage (no, I'm not a saint) and we made our way to our favorite dancing spot.

Upon paying the cover charge and entering the room, we were pleased to hear the band playing Motown. That meant we'd spend more time on the dance floor than in our chairs. Last week the band was not good and certainly not playing anything much worth dancing to. We situated ourselves at a table, left our wraps to claim our spots and began to enjoy the evening.

When the two of us (both female) go out together, we may dance with each other, we may dance with a man or two, but mostly we're just out to dance. It's fun, we like the music and we enjoy the exercise. Most of the time it's just a nice, care-free, evening. Sometimes, there are drunks who get a little pushy. We deal with that, like ladies. This isn't what I'm writing about this morning.

We'd been dancing for about a half hour and decided to take a break, having just returned to our seats, when I noticed many people around us looking toward the other side of the room. That's never a good thing in a bar. Yeah, a woman was on the floor. She wasn't getting up. I told my friend I'd see what was going on and I walked over to the small circle of security guards and club management that was surrounding her. The woman was conscious and moving by then. I ascertained from the manager that EMS had been called (she apparently hadn't even started drinking yet, so she certainly needed to be checked out). I let him know that I was medically trained and available if he needed me and I backed away, back to my chair. I watched from that distance as she was walked out of the club. I didn't give it much more thought.

More dancing, another drink. It was time for a Ladies' Room break. As I walked toward the door, a man reached out and touched my elbow. "Are you medical?"

I stopped to answer his question. I told him I was, so was he. He'd noticed me checking out the situation earlier. He's a radiologist and as luck would have it quite attractive, near my age and charming. We talked for a few minutes. He paid me a compliment on my willingness to help a stranger earlier and asked if I would help him if he developed symptoms right then. "If I fell down right now, would you come to my aid?" I told him I probably would, but I know I flirty line when I hear one. He laughed and said that would be one way to get a kiss from such a pretty woman. Wow, this guy was pouring it on thick, but...he was attractive...we had something in common...

I still needed to get to the loo. I reached out my right hand, introduced myself and told him it was nice to meet him. Then I reached for his left hand. I knew it. Gold wedding band. You know...I just turned and walked away.

His attractiveness level plummeted from about an eight to a minus four. You can't come back from a minus four. It's just plain rude to flirt so blatantly when you're married. It's not rude to the target of your flirtation. It's rude to your wife. Someone should teach that somewhere. Manners matter.

I Love Babies and Dogs - I Promise.

It took over 24 hours to find the times posted for the 17th Annual Sheltering Arms Turkey Trot. Initially, only clock times came up and I was disappointed to see mine at 1:07:23. A couple hours later the chip times came up and I was listed at 1:05:46. That was what I thought I ran, so I was happy to see it.

In the time I was waiting for the times to post, I logged onto active.com and watched the comments start to come in. The negative feedback far outweighed the positive around the race and honestly, I agreed with most of it.

The organizers obviously weren't prepared for the large crowd, or they didn't seem to be. The pace markers at the starting line were set very close together and we couldn't hear the announcer. Chip collection at the finish was immediately after we crossed over the line and created a bit of a bottleneck at that point.

But the real problems, the REAL problems...

...walkers, and strollers, and pets, oh my!

Sure, it's a great morning for families to get out and enjoy time together, but for the love of all that's good and safe, get the heck out of the front of the pack and get out of the way! There is no reason on earth that people who are walking need to be standing in the 8, 9, 10, even 11 minutes/mile sections. They're in the way and they're dangerous. Thousands of people were trying to take off and run yesterday morning and they had to navigate past toddlers, people pushing strollers and even dogs on leashes. Not cool, not cute, not sweet. Not. Not. Not.

I know some will say we're grouchy. Some will say we're not friendly. Too freaking bad. I'd rather be grouchy about this than grouchy about a sprained (or broken) ankle on one of us. I'd rather not accidentally knock over your little darling. I like kids, I really do. It would ruin the day for all of us if someone was injured. It's just common sense. You're slower, you don't need to be in the front. Is this that difficult?

Good. Thanks. See you at the next event. Have a great day - and give your kids and dogs a hug from Auntie Michelle.

My First 10K!!!

Distance: 6.2 miles
Start time: 8:00 am
Run Duration: 66 minutes (unofficial time - from my watch)
Average Pace: 10.6 minutes/mile
Temperature: 50 degrees
Humidity: 42%
Location: Uptown Park, Houston, TX

See all those exclamation points in the title? I felt them running over the finish line! This was the first event I've entered that I felt real joy running through the final push. This was my longest run - ever. I've run 6 miles, I've never run 6.2 miles. This was my longest race - ever, and I ran the entire way. I also got a little kick at the end. I didn't curse at myself once. (For anyone who knows me and the way I think, the way I run, this is a BIG DEAL.)

I've been following my training schedule. I've been eating right. I've been sleeping (better).

I'm a happy Thanksgiving Runner Girl today.

Today I lift up my gratitude for the friendship of Ken who is always positive, who is always there with encouragement and a smile. He was at the starting line (yet again) today and I really believe that he really believed that I could do this run. Thanks to and for Ken.

Cruising

Distance: 4 miles
Start time: 4:55 am
Run Duration: 42 minutes
Average Pace: 10.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 63 degrees
Humidity: 97%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I'm sticking to my training schedule. I know what I'm supposed to do on any given day - how far to run, or how long to crosstrain. The question of "if" is gone. I know I will, because I've committed to this. I'm feeling better as I add the mileage. I'm feeling better as I allow my body to rest on off days. The question of "if" is no longer. The answer is simply to look at my calendar and see what my assignment is each day.

This morning my alarm was set for 4:15 am. That's early, really early. I had to get up early enough to get the run in and get to clinic. I was halfway to the park when I realized that I'd risen from my bed, gotten dressed, headed out the door and started driving without resenting the early hour, without wishing I was doing something else. I also noticed that I was driving on cruise control - something I don't think I've ever done on the 610 loop between Buffalo Speedway and Westheimer. There wasn't any traffic and there wasn't any reason to drive any other way.

I arrived at work and pretty much plowed through a massive list of patients. I was still cruising. I started at 8am and I looked up at 3pm to find that I'd seen the last one. The only thing left to do was dictate the notes, set my out of office notice and get the heck out of there.

I'm ready for the holiday now. Oh, and for the race on Thursday. My first 10K race. I feel like I'm ready. I'll just cruise it.

Running - A Team Sport

Distance: 5 miles
Start time: 10:00 am
Run Duration: 53 minutes
Average Pace: 10.6 minutes/mile
Temperature: 56 degrees
Humidity: 84%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

"I'm going for a run, want to go?"

"Sure."

It's a great thing to be able to meet up with a friend, spur of the moment, and get miles in on a Sunday morning.

~

I'm signed up for a 10K on Thanksgiving morning. I have at least one friend running the race and I passed on the information to another who will likely sign up. It will be fun to see them at the starting line early Thursday.

~

Another friend gave me a lead on a call for writing submissions. The topic? Running. I had a piece ready to go. Made the deadline.

~

I used to think it was a solo sport. I used to think it (running) was all about being in my own head, running by myself, and working through my thoughts. Somehow keeping them (my thoughts) to myself didn't help much and they seemed to build into something that was bigger - and sometimes more frightening - than the individual components.

Today I lift up gratitude for the sharing.

Unsettled

I am unsettled.
I wait-
I watch-
I wonder-
and then I start all over again.

This overtakes me,
this listlessness,
this wishlessness.

Poured in a glass and left to aerate
on the counter,
it sends a memory of better times into the room.

It asks me to drink it down
quickly –
before the bouquet
can develop into something that matters
or that might matter
or that might weigh heavily enough to matter
someday
to someone.

At least I can drink it before the
sediment
(or the sentiment)
collects at the bottom of this
dirty, chipped and recycled tumbler
that pretends to be crystalline.

M. Scofield 11/19/2009

Production

Distance: 3.5 miles
Start time: 8:57 am
Run Duration: 35 minutes
Average Pace: 10 minutes/mile
Temperature: 46 degrees
Humidity: 69%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I tried to sleep in, I had the best intentions. I was up at 6 am even though it's my day off work. I didn't relish the thought of running in the cold air. I did that the other night and I was reaching for my inhaler as soon as I got through my door. (I'd forgotten to use it in advance of the run.) I've not yet got it through my thick head that I need the silly thing.

This morning I puttered around the apartment for an hour before deciding I had to do something productive today. I packed another box. I can't believe just how much stuff I still have, after unloading so much fluff and flotsam. I can't bring myself to do away with some of my grandmother's things. They're simply too precious to me. They won't really "go" with my new place, but I'll find a spot for them.

By the time I felt it was warm enough for my lungs and my muscles, traffic was snarly and I took the feeder road all the way to the park. There was certainly no problem finding a parking place today. I've not seen the trails with so few runners before. I guess the cool weather really keeps people home.

I used my MP3 player today. I loaded Norah Jones and Adele onto it this week. Their songs aren't exactly peppy, but they are still sweet to listen to and I figured they would be good for distraction as my miles increase over the next few weeks. I wasn't ready to hear Adele's "Melt My Heart to Stone". Ouch. That's still a tough one. I just kept running. What's the alternative, anyway?

I washed my car on the way home and while vacuuming it out found my favorite pair of Ralph Lauren heels, abandoned in the back. Poor things. I'd put them there, planning on getting them repaired. No time like the present. I dropped them off at the Shoe Hospital. It won't be cheap but they're worth it. I've never found a pair of shoes that look so good and feel so comfortable at the same time.

Overall, it's been a good morning. I feel like I've accomplished a lot. The mileage is getting easier (or at least not so difficult), I ran a few errands, and I pushed past a reminder of...

...yeah, I pushed past a reminder. Kind of. One step at a time, right?

Today I lift up gratitude for feeling. It beats the alternative.

Arrogence

We burned down like wicks in our favorite candles.
Neither of us wanted to admit that there was
no
real
hope
of maintaining
light
after we went to the trouble and pain
of finally sparking a flame.

With our fingertips singed from our efforts
and our eyes stinging from smoke,
we sat in the dark and pretended to romance.

Could we not have used a torch, a lamp, anything different to light our way?
Were we that blinded by habit?
The ashes of arrogance are cooling in the kitchen sink.
It seems to be the only place to put them for safekeeping.




M. Scofield 11/17/2009

A Few Words with Myself

Distance: 3.5 miles
Start time: 4:35 pm
Run Duration: 35 minutes
Average Pace: 10 minutes/mile
Temperature: 59 degrees
Humidity: 51%
Location: Hermann Park



There are 9 weeks until the Houston Aramco Half-Marathon. I pulled out the training schedule today and entered all the mileage from now until January 17, 2009 on my calendar. I can do this.

Sunday miles increase by 1 each week. Only 5 this week, I already know I can do 6.

From everything I've heard and read, getting up to 10 in training is the biggie, come race day, adrenaline will carry me through to the end. Lots of people have done this before me.

This evening's 3.5 felt good (despite the sore toe) and the weather was beautiful. I know the temperature is supposed to plummet overnight so tomorrow morning's directions to "stretch and strengthen" will be perfect with yoga before work.

I can do this.

Crossroads

I walked 4 miles today, 2 miles to Reliant Park and 2 miles back. My friend Kerith and I decided it was much better than driving and spending 10 bucks to park.

This afternoon I met Chloe Dao (of Project Runway fame). That was exciting for me. What a thrill to meet someone who lives her life in her art. For weeks now, I've been thinking (obsessing!) about what it would take for me to live my life doing what makes me happy and fulfilled. I'm a firm believer in noticing...

...EVERYTHING!!!

I'm paying more attention to fleeting thoughts as they come my way. Ideas, "what if's", even dreams are little gifts that I don't think I can afford to ignore right now. I'm trying to listen. It feels very important right now.

No Crying

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 2:06 pm
Run Duration: 29 minutes
Average Pace: 9.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 77 degrees
Humidity: 48%
Location: Reliant Area

They say there's no crying in sport, but there was plenty of whining in my head as I started out today. I had no confidence in my ability to complete the 3 miles in front of me. I had a list of reasons not to run.

1. I hadn't run in over a week. It would be hard.
2. I have the end of a light cold, or the remainders of really crappy allergies.
3. I haven't been sleeping well because of number 2.
4. The area around the fourth and fifth metatarsals on my left foot hurts like a bastard. It's not my little toe, it's more proximal, deep in my foot. I've been afraid it might be a stress fracture, but I haven't been running for a week. I think it's more a matter of standing hour upon hour in surgery in bad shoes.

Add up 1 through 4 and they're all excuses. They're all outweighed by one big thing.

I WANT TO RUN.

Today, more than anything else, I wanted to put on my shoes, get out in the sunshine and sweat.

So...I put on my shoes, I stepped into the sunshine and I started to run. Oh, mama! My foot hurt, but only for a little while. I was running on pavement, which I haven't done in ages. I'll have to do it more often. The race in January is on city streets. My foot doesn't really hurt now, it's only a slight ache. I'll take some ibuprofen. My lungs burned. Yeah, they really did. I'd used my inhaler, but the pollen is still very, very thick out there and I felt it. I must have sounded like the little engine that could, chugging down the street.

I was more determined than ever to get these miles in today. They're in. I'm happy. It felt very much like when I first started running. I kept a litany of curse words going the entire time. I swore I'd get through it. And I did. Faster than I've gone in awhile. Surprise!

Lifting up gratitude today for the sunshine. It was simply too beautiful to waste.

Ah-Choo!!!

No, I didn't run today. I was off work and I spent the day watching movies and doing laundry. I also packed a couple boxes. I'm trying to pack at least one box a day. Hopefully I'll be able to open the door when the movers show up and everything will go smoothly. (Optimism!)

I didn't get out into the "fresh" air until after 5pm and that was only to check my mail. I forgot that there wouldn't be mail delivery today because of the holiday. (Thanks to all of you who served our country. I appreciate you!) It felt good to be out of the apartment but I immediately started sneezing again.

That's me...itchy throat, sneezing, watery eyes. I'm a walking commercial for antihistamines. I didn't think it was wise to push the envelope and run today. Besides, I put in 10+ hours of work yesterday (straight through) and felt entitled to a day of rest. Maybe I'm making excuses. I don't know.

The pollen forecast says it's going to be better later in the week. I hope so. I feel lazy and sluggish.

Over That Rainbow

Distance: 2 miles
Start time: 6:30 am
Run Duration: 20 minutes
Average Pace: 10. minutes/mile
Temperature: not a clue
Humidity: again, have no idea
Location: The Gulf of Mexico

I woke most mornings before sunrise. I was on a cruise aboard the Carnival Ecstasy. I only exercised "officially" one day this week. I made my way to the Sports Deck, quickly read the notice that let me know that 11 laps equaled one land mile and started running, counterclockwise as directed. I could see the rain to the South, and we were closing in on it. I thought I could complete my run before getting soaked. I did. This blog entry isn't about the run. But before I get to what it's really about, know that I took the stairs for 90% of the cruise and I danced. I danced a lot. I didn't gain a single pound on this vacation and I ate a thousand-million calories. Well, maybe not that many - but a lot.

Here's what this blog is about.

I just returned from an odyssey - a theme trip I never planned to take. It all started at Frankel's costume shop about a month ago. My friend Daryl wanted us to "really dress up for Halloween". He liked the thought of me being Dorothy, from the Wizard of Oz. (I'm from Kansas, right?) I bent to his will, plunked down my $65 and brought home a sexy little blue gingham number, complete with a petticoat and thigh high stockings. I purchased a wig, a basket and found a stuffed Toto to carry. I was all set for a raucous party on Halloween night.




Fast forward to the drive to Galveston to board the ship. Daryl told me he'd changed his mind. He wasn't going to wear a costume, he wasn't feeling so enthusiastic about dressing up. Uhuh. Fine. I did and so did another friend who went on the trip with us. By the time dinner came around we were tarted up, calling attention to ourselves and dancing the night away. Fun, right? Should have been the end of it, right? Not so simple.

Three of us booked an excursion to snorkel at Cozumel. We boarded our charter speed boat with about 15 other adventuresome folks and zipped off across the pristine waters. After a few hours of fun, sun, beer, chicken and veggies, we noticed the clouds building to the East (in the direction of our Mother Ship). They became darker and more ominous. Soon we saw a finger drop to the water in the form of a water spout. A big, ugly funnel had formed and we needed to pack it up and head back to the ship while we still could. As we grew closer and closer to the pier it became evident that we were about to enter a terrible storm. The clouds were black, the seas were rough and lightening played around us. Suddenly the crew of the boat stopped us dead in the water and told us to pass our belongings to the front if we wanted our things to remain dry. We did, fire-brigade style...and then it hit. We were in a deluge of rain, soaking us with a power that stunned us. At first we attempted to cover ourselves with our beach towels but we soon realized the futility in that effort and opened our faces to the rain, laughing. Our captain pushed onward through the storm, turning the music up. That was an adventure.






A twister.





The next morning brings me to my run. I finished my miles and moved to the front of the ship, noticing a rainbow like I'd never seen. It was just off the ship's bow with both ends of the arc sitting in the water. The ship was moving through the rainbow. As the rain started, the drops moved through the colors of the rainbow and lit up brilliantly, especially when they hit the purple stripe. Fascinated I stood next to a man and woman who were also transfixed, watching the show. I asked them if they'd ever seen anything like it before.

"No, but he told me that we needed to be here this morning. He said so when we woke up, so we're here." This is what the woman told me. This is how she explained their presence. We chatted a bit. We joked about how wet we were getting, but how we didn't care. He said he'd rather be wet than at work. They asked where I worked. I told them. They looked at me in stunned silence.

Their son will be coming to my hospital in 2 weeks with a diagnosis of a tumor that is within my subspecialty. They were so worried. I was able to give them comfort and to reassure them that he will be in good hands. I knew (immediately) about his particular diagnosis and was able to say, "Please rest your minds, please know that he is coming to the best place. Please know that I understand your anxiety, but it sounds like everything is on track."

A rainbow.

I was relaxing on deck yesterday with my friend. This one is simple. I looked up and saw something I'd never seen before. There was a rainbow in the middle of the sky. It wasn't attached to anything. It was simply an arc for the sun. James told me earlier in the day that the sprinkles we were feeling were probably blowing from miles away. I understand that water refracts the light. I get that. I also know that sometimes I need to see things that I've never seen before.

A different kind of rainbow.



This vacation I saw so many things I've never seen before. I thought thoughts I hadn't even considered. I'm lifting up gratitude for my traveling companions: Every day is a good day when I learn. I feel that they hold a mirror for me and I love them for their patience and compassion.

James (heart) was anxious to get home to his little dog. This love for another living being warms me and strikes me as pure and sweet and I am so lucky to call him friend.

Daryl (courage) has taken the steps to know himself and is willing to be himself in a world that is not always ready to hear passion and honesty. His belief in eye contact is inspirational. I feel safe in our friendship.

Bevilee (nerve) drinks this life to the fullest, arms wide, smile even wider. She is steeled for success, yet feminine. We have a friendship that goes deeper than the sea.

I'll take this kind of theme cruise any day. Oh, I guess there was one more thing. I did a little dreaming, about the kinds of dreams that really do come true.

Redistribute This

Neocons have me steaming this morning and I shouldn't be steaming. I'm on vacation. I should be packing my bags, or getting a massage, or a pedicure. Instead I'm thinking about the propaganda that's being spread across the net (again) and the venom that's being spewed (still) by these people who seemingly have an agenda to convince those who are gullible enough to believe their silliness.

The latest is around this program.

http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/lllu.html

Lifeline and Link-Up have been in existence since prior to President Obama's inauguration.

Yesterday I became aware of an "article" that starts out with reference to Michelle Obama serving meals to the homeless and a sense of outrage that homeless people were snapping photos of her with their cell phones. The text of the piece questioned "how the poor can afford cell phones" then went on to express outrage regarding the Lifeline and Link-up program.

I found a bit on Snopes.com to try and help people understand the truth. Silly me.

It was then that I was hit with this. "It's what Obama calls redistributive change."

Really? Really? Is that all you've got?

First. The program came into effect before Obama came into office.

Second. It's a discount on one phone. Yes, it's paid for with fees that are collected through phone services. I suppose I don't get all that outrage when I consider that a phone is a necessity. I suppose I wouldn't want to tell people how to use their necessities. I suppose I don't understand how helping out my fellow humans is somehow a problem.

Third. You want to talk redistribution? I paid 20% of my income in federal taxes last year. That's 20% of gross, not net, not taxable. I'm THAT woman. I'm the single taxpayer with the (relatively) high income. The one who doesn't itemize. The one who has only one vehicle - with two axles. My car is paid off and the value is low enough that any property tax wouldn't amount to enough to deduct. I have no mortgage. I live within my means. I don't even keep track of my charitable donations because I feel to deduct them from my taxes would be a little obscene. I pay off my student loans which are substantial but my income is high enough that I am not allowed to adjust my income downward when figuring my taxes.

You want to talk redistribution? How many people eek their taxes down for every penny they possibly can. You're welcome. You've redistributed my money right on over to you, the taxpayer who itemizes and deducts his or her tax return for every penny possible.

My sense, my opinion, my thought is that this entire neocon movement has come down to Us -vs- Them, Me -vs- You. It feels like someone is trying to take something from the neocons and they are desperate, using every crazy method possible to fight some wacked-out battle so that they don't lose what they're worked so hard to get. Is it any wonder the label "Wingnut" has caught on? And is it any wonder liberals like me are digging in, speaking up and get this - giving in even greater numbers?

Drive on those roads. Enjoy that police and fire protection. I paid my share, did you? Now try the truth. I love the truth.

A Little Sunshine Makes A World of Difference

Distance: 4 miles
Start time: 9:43 am
Run Duration: 42 minutes
Average Pace: 10.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 70 degrees
Humidity: 73%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

When I stepped into the morning air, it was cool and damp. The sky was gray. Clouds filled the sky and my windshield was wet. I wondered if my Wichita State t-shirt would be warm enough for my morning run. Same story when I arrived at the park. I put on my sunglasses anyway. I feel like such a geek running in my clear prescription glasses but I can't see five feet in front of me and safety is important. I don't want to step in a hole in the path and break a hip. My sunglasses are prescription strength and look slightly more sporty.

I hadn't run half a mile when...

POW!!!

The sun broke through. It then decimated the clouds. They were gone - just like that. No mist, no fog, no nothing. It was suddenly a brilliant day.

My t-shirt was plenty, all right. Plenty hot.

I'm feeling on track as far as January goes. Have a great day, readers! Hope it's sunny where you are, at least in your mind.

Checking In With Myself

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 8:35 am
Run Duration: 32 minutes
Average Pace: 10.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 66 degrees
Humidity: 75%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I was sore last night, monumentally sore. I realized it after I'd gone to dinner (small filet, asparagus and a glass of Charles Krug 2006 Cabernet), bought a few groceries from Central Market and settled in to my favorite oversized chair to watch a repeat of Saturday Night Live. I'd drifted off to a happy snooze with my feet up on my coffee table. I stood to get a glass of water and...

Ouch! Ouch! OUCH!!!

I hurt all over. Stiffness had set in. I'm not ready to attribute this to age, but rather to my over zealousness and all the physical work I've been doing around my apartment, combined with my six miles yesterday. I took 600. mg of Advil and crashed under the comfort of my duvet spread.

I woke this morning after 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I wanted to run. I stretched and realized I was only minimally sore. When I arrived at the park, I stretched gently and hit the trail. The only place I really felt any discomfort during my run was my hamstrings. They're tight. That's nothing new, but I need to be aware, and I stretched more carefully after my run.

I prepared a big glass of fresh carrot/pineapple juice to have with my breakfast and I think my cells will appreciate the additional vitamins and nutrients. I know my taste buds appreciated it.

I had no idea I would want to run today. I thought yesterday would be enough. I'm feeling a little surprised. And encouraged.

Sensible Shoes

Distance: 6 miles
Start time: 10:19 am
Run Duration: 68 minutes
Average Pace: 11.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 60 degrees
Humidity: 37%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

Runners' feet are not always the prettiest feet. I try to keep mine in good shape. I get pedicures. I take care to replace my running shoes fairly often and to purchase quality running shoes. Because I work in surgery, I think about the shoes I wear to work and have also come to believe that sock choice can make or break my comfort level on a long day.

I punished my poor tootsies the last few days. I know better and I paid for it this morning.

I'm so excited about my upcoming move that I'm spending almost every waking hour at home doing something to prepare - tearing down furniture to give away or sell, washing and ironing linens to pack, going through closets and culling out items for Goodwill. I've been barefoot a lot of the time, because I've been at home and comfortable and not really thinking about my feet.

Last night I went out with friends for a fabulous, delightful, delicious night of cocktails and dinner to celebrate a birthday. These shoes simply had to be worn.

As responsible citizens, we walked from our favorite watering hole to the restaurant and back to our cars. Spiked heels and four blocks of asphalt don't make for happy feet the next day.

I'll wear shoes while I putter around the apartment today.

The run felt great, despite my barking dogs. I'm happy with my pace for the distance. It's time to step up the training a bit. January isn't that far off.

Feeling Better Every Day

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:58 am
Run Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 10.00 minutes/mile
Temperature: 77 degrees
Humidity: 72%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I feel like it's time to step up the mileage. I'm starting to benefit from the asthma meds in that my legs don't feel like cement blocks at mile two anymore. I'm not coughing or feeling a pesky urge to clear my throat and I don't have chest pain.

Woo!!! Hoo!!!

The big run isn't until mid-January but I have a couple longish vacations between now and then and I don't want it (the run) to sneak up on me. I see a six mile run in my very near future.

Pigeon Toes

The pigeon approached me on the platform, moving at a slow pace. At first I thought he was just another city pigeon, asking for a handout, looking for some popcorn or a bit of a sandwich, and then I noticed he was listing a bit to the side, coming at an angle. Odd. My guard went up immediately. The Metro Rail stations aren’t the safest places in the city for reporters, especially on a sunny Sunday afternoon. You just never know.

I pulled my satchel a little closer and watched the pigeon as he neared. Then I saw it, the reason for his odd gait. He was one of them. He was missing the toes on his right foot. All he had at the end of his pigeon leg was a stump.

I needed a photograph. I reached for my bag. I never go anywhere without my camera. Just then the train pulled into the station and the pigeon flew away. I missed him. I boarded the train along with the rest of the waiting passengers and that’s when I noticed the man two rows up wearing a Houston Chronicle t-shirt. This was clearly a major story I’d stumbled onto. Damn! No photo. I pulled out my sketch pad and started to draw what I could remember of the little bird. A woman sitting next to me looked at my artwork and remarked, “I’ve seen a pigeon like that.”

I had a witness! Unfortunately she didn't want to reveal her identity. Something about government clearance or something like that, but she said she’d seen several pigeons with missing claws around town. She mentioned something about frostbite but the average temperature isn’t that low here. She then started talking about dim sum and conjectured that there isn’t that much meat on a pigeon foot as on a chicken foot. She went on to say that it could have something to do with voodoo, or natural medicine. She thought people might be wearing them around their necks for healing powers. Potentially they (pigeon toes) could be ground and fed to children to cure pigeon toes. With the downturn in the economy, and the obvious stalemate in Washington regarding healthcare reform, people might be taking matters into their own hands.

By this time I was getting a little nervous. I think I was sent over the edge when the conversation turned to the Godfather movies, the horse heads on the beds and the possibilities of using pigeon feet as warnings in gang or mob wars. She looked like she knew what she was talking about. Kind of like a MetroRail Cliff Clavin in a pashmina and crystal earrings.

We pulled into the Wheeler station. I bolted past her, slipping on a tube of toothpaste on the floor of the train and knocked over the Chronicle reporter on the way out of the car. As the train left the station I watched the voodoo queen watch me as I stood shaking on the platform. I was mesmerized. I didn’t move until I felt something warm hit my shoulder. Pigeon poop had dropped from the wires above. There is more to this story. I just know it.

Loose Dogs

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 9:28 am
Run Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 10.00 minutes/mile
Temperature: 53 degrees
Humidity: 80%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

Just a quick rant. Loose dogs really piss me off. I don't feel safe running in my neighborhood because of them. We have loose lab mixes, loose pit bulls, etc. My theory is that people dump them here and then they breed and then they pack and then they will attack me and I'll die or be maimed and some newbie plastic surgeon who didn't train with the plastic surgeons I know will put me back together again in all the wrong Humpty Dumpty ways. I'll be scrambled.

Yesterday and again today I saw a dog off-leash in Memorial Park. The stupid owner was yelling at it to "Come on, Sweetie! Come back!" The dog was about 20 yards from the owner both times, running through the trees on the dirt trail. I don't give a rat's ass, dog's tail, or whatever anatomy you want to bet how perfectly trained the owner believes her dog is trained. There is a leash law for a reason. Runners may trip on the dog. Other dogs may freak out. Or her little "Sweetie" may just show some aberrant behavior. Stupid.

I guess I've had enough experience with loose dogs recently to make me more than a little testy. Ooohhh. Is she speaking metaphorically? Perhaps.

Refresh!

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 9:28 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 57 degrees
Humidity: 66%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

There aren't enough words to describe the weather this morning. Imagine, using the numbers I've posted above for temperature and humidity. I allowed myself to sleep as late as my body required and today feels wonderful.

Last night I met friends at Anvil for cocktails. No hurries, no schedule, no worries. I was given two shining gifts of insight yesterday that allowed me to rest my mind around issues that have been bubbling beneath the surface. I credit my friend, Daryl, with giving me a couple minutes to put things in perspective and allow me to see (again) how blessed I am. Talking with someone who loves me for me, doesn't want anything from me - other than to see me happy - and then move on with the purpose of the evening (fun and relaxation) was very helpful.

I woke this morning ready to run again, but only on the trail. I'm thinking about my career a little differently. I'm thinking about my home a little differently. I feel more settled.

Today's gratitude is for the gift of friendship, for people who are willing to stick with me during my darkest times and wait for the real me to emerge because I always do. I am also grateful that those same people are willing to let me see them in their times of difficulty, that they allow me to stand with them or sit by them, to listen, and to give words when they need them the most. Blessings.

Quick Post

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:55 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 67 degrees
Humidity: 84%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX


Much cooler!

Better!

Good run!

Have a great day, readers.

From Where, Inspiration?

"In relations with people, as in art, if you always stick to style, manners, and what will work, and you're never caught off guard, then some beautiful experiences never happen." - Helen Frankenthaler, Painter

I have a project in mind, a series of self-portraits. The idea for this project sprouted from one word, "arrogant". I was told I was arrogant.

Ouch.

So what if I am? (I get the irony in that question.) I don't think I am. I consider myself humble, polite, shy, stand-offish and misunderstood. Perhaps these traits, combined, can be mistaken for arrogance.

I wanted to capture ARROGANCE. Other emotions appeared on my computer screen. I think this might make a project. I'll see. I had a rough day. DOUBT seemed to be the best place to start.

Humidity!

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:49 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 80 degrees
Humidity: 95%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX


Dripping, soaking wet! It's sooooo humid. But. However. I ran.

It felt good.

Tomorrow's forecast is for much cooler. This weekend is for outright pleasant. I'll take that.

Today's gratitude:
For the cool breeze coming out of mile two, across the golf course; I needed to feel it.
For looking up and seeing the clouds part past a new moon; I needed to see it.

These are gifts that I might miss if not paying attention.

*Pay attention. (That's a note to myself.)

Promise

I've got a lot to do.

I haven't run for too long. I've honestly been a little afraid to run. Knowing that my heart (physically) is not at risk of seizing up and quitting on me is good. Thinking that my lungs might primarily be a problem, leading to a secondary heart problem, is bad. I'd tried antihistamines which helped a little with the coughing and throat-clearing but left me feeling groggy later in the day.

Click one thing off my list of to-do's. I went to the doctor today and brought home a sack full of sample meds to treat asthma. No excuses for not running.

Oh - I walked two miles round trip to and from my appointment because I didn't want to pay ten bucks and park in the Tower. I have a paid spot near my office, so I used it. I'm not going to count those miles today. I'll get them in tomorrow or Friday. I promise.

I've got a lot to do.

October is a tough month. My mom died in October. I tend to hibernate in the fall. It's been a very long time since we buried her. It still hurts. She died of breast cancer. It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, or so all the pink ribbons are shouting at me. I'm doing my best not to hibernate, in fact I got a mammogram today but I want to do other things that remind me of Mom this month, not think of breast cancer. Mom only lived to be 45 and here I am, 49. I've already outlived her. It may hurt, but honestly it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it used to, especially when I get enough exercise and sunshine. I know what I need to do. I'll do it. I promise.

I've got a lot to do.

On the drive home today I passed the Buffalo Speedway extension project. The City of Houston is working on a project to build the road on out to where??? I don't know. I thought about stopping to take a picture of the mud that is at least knee-deep. It's an endless stretch of nothing but muck and mire. It seems to have no destination, no real goal. I'm sure there is a beautiful set of plans in an office somewhere, paid for by our tax dollars. I'm sure someone knows what is going on. I don't. There are construction pylons and the surrounding road is a mess. The surrounding area is not scenic or pretty or even navigable. There isn't a detour, yet. There probably should be. I'm not even sure if the area is safe. I decided I won't go that way for awhile. I made the same decision about a relationship I'm in. It's probably not safe. I'm not going to go that way. When it's complete, when it's open and navigable, I'll look for the signs. Until then, I'll look for another way. I promise.

Oh, the picture of the rough, unfinished road? Nah, a sky full of promise is much more inviting.

Years

They are not mine to throw away
but days to watch
and keep
and play
them out,

one
by
one.

The sun
lays down the day's last light.
I call you in.
You say you might
just stay a while
and think,

one
by
one.

You give me sense of peace
and right,
of purpose and you keep in sight
a living of our days,

one
by
one.


M. Scofield 10/09/2009 (For Chris)

All By Myself

There are certain pleasures that come with having a job. Sure, I bitch-and-moan about the long hours and thankless tasks I routinely perform but the truth is that steady employment affords me the opportunity to travel frequently to places I enjoy to partake in activities I enjoy and eat foods I really enjoy.

I did just that earlier this week. I flew to Las Vegas and spent time with someone I've not spent much time with lately. Me.

I took me on long walks up and down Las Vegas Boulevard, stopping to look at whatever I wanted to look at. I watched construction. I listened to music. I even stopped and had a cocktail at three o'clock in the afternoon - because I could and I didn't have a single place I needed to be. No schedule, no one to answer to, nothing.

I took me to dinner. I went where I wanted to go. I happened to want to go to some pretty nice places. I ate where the celebrity chefs put their names on the menus - Michael Mina, Tom Colicchio, and Emeril Lagasse. I had steak and lobster one night. Another night I only felt like soup and salad, but it was delicious. I had martinis, dirty.

I slept by the pool, dozing off after reading a magazine, enjoying the luxury of the "adults only" section of the vast complex.

I dressed each night, how I like to dress. I never worried that I was over- or underdressed. My biggest concern was whether or not I could reach my zipper. I could.

I took myself to a show and laughed myself silly, especially when Howie Mandel somehow managed to pull me into his dialogue and we carried on a conversation for about five minutes with the rest of the crowd laughing around us. It was unforgettable.

Don't get me wrong, I wish I'd had this time with someone else, but I managed just fine by myself. I enjoyed myself. I even documented the first time wearing a fantastic dress. All this running has done something for me. It lets me wear dresses pretty well. Next time, maybe I'll have the love of my life in the picture next to me. In the meantime...I had a pretty good time, with myself.

Noise

I try to get in some form of exercise that's not work every day. Today I left the operating room a little before noon and worked at my desk for a little while. I'd packed a lunch and ate while I did paperwork. I checked the weather page on the net and noted that it was only eighty-one degrees out. I had my camera with me so I headed downstairs. My plan was to find a few flower beds and escape into petals and leaves and color for about ten minutes.

I was struck by the noise of the street as soon as I exited the building. Construction vehicles are everywhere in the Medical Center. I say I love the city and I do, it's just that there was no escaping it today. It felt oppressive and a little ugly. A new structure has gone up across from my building. I'm not sure what it is. It may be a water tower, but it seems more like a containment structure, as if it's been built in case of emergency. It's next to a power plant for the hospital. I know there was a some sort of drilling rig in place before the walls went up. Then panels were installed that made it look like a weird piece of modern art plopped right in the middle of all the steel and glass buildings. It's bizarre.



The other picture I'm posting is to show you just how congested this area is with buildings, and more buildings. It's thick with them.



So today I feel like I looked out and I saw noise. My eyes were full of the hustle of the place I work. Perhaps more overload or maybe just a chance to look at things a little differently.

Wednesday Update

I didn't run today because I woke up too late. I had an appointment this morning and I wouldn't have made it on time if I'd taken time to run. The rest of the day was filled with errands and answering one page after the other.

I bought several things I need for my upcoming trips:

Two dresses that look like they came right out of the 60's. Seriously. I went in search of NOW and bought THEN. My mother would have worn them when she was a fashion-forward hottie. I found some patent leather pumps with the highest of heels that are quite Ooh-La-La!

A wig. That's right, a wig. I needed one for Halloween and I found one. Long, brown, and ridiculous. :)

I also had dinner with two friends and discussed another holiday, Thanksgiving. I guess half the gang will be traveling cross-country so we're going to have to adjust this year. Turkey's turkey, even when it's chicken. Or something like that.

So today's theme seems to be, "Things aren't always what we thought they would be."
It's ok. Today isn't yesterday and it won't be tomorrow, either. Or something like that.

Good night, sleep tight. Sleep sound. Tomorrow is another...tomorrow.

Tuesday

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:45 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 75 degrees
Humidity: 83%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I went to bed at 8pm last night. Turned off the TV and the phone and crashed. I looked at my alarm at 5 this morning and thought, "Really? Do I really want to do this?"

I went. I'm glad I did.

Have a great day, whatever it brings you.

Dark Cloud Days - Some of us have them.

I wrote this in February, 2008. Today, it still speaks very much to my feelings around my job. At the time I wrote it, I was struggling with my sense of helplessness when doing surgery on pediatric cancer patients. I've been working in Oncology on and off for thirteen years. I keep thinking I'll get better at this. Sure, my clinical skills have improved, but my skill at dealing with the stress waxes and wanes.

Right now it's waning.




Facing the Calling


So where
is my soul?
I have to wonder.
Where does it go?

In some crater deep,
so dark and lost
I can't seem to keep
a bit of me safe these days.

"Here, I'll hold your Bear
while you stay
right there."

She drifts off to terrored sleep
and we deliver the beastie.

But whose dreams do we keep?

We mark her as ours.

When she wakes
she will remember
and nothing will make
her normal.
M. Scofield 2/25/08

Woman's Desire for Fresh Air Defeats Excuses - Story at 9:30

Distance: 2 miles
Start time: 8:30 am
Run Duration: 21 minutes
Average Pace: 10.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 75 degrees
Humidity: 90%
Location: Hermann Park, Houston, TX

Headache, sore toe, not enough sleep, plans to meet for breakfast at 11am. None of these things individually seemed enough. I considered them as a group. No, not enough. I did, however, decide to go for 2 miles - not 3.

I'm good with that. I feel better after getting outside and sweating a little. My head still hurts, my toe is still sore and I'm sure I'll be craving a nap at 3pm, but I feel better for having given myself the gift of exercise. I'm committed to this, darn it!

Today I lift up my gratitude for the ability to feel, to believe, and to commit - and for the opportunities put before me that stir me to action.

Because I Said I Would

Here you go, Stacey. This is the little piece I told you about. Just a nosh.

Tea Time

Standing on line at the corner shop,
waiting for a cuppa,
and thinking about toffee bars,
I go back to Granny’s house.

Clink, clink.
Sugar squares fall through time
and land on China patterns.

Tea roses.
Moss roses.
Dusty roses.
Wedding roses.

I slip around the grand furniture,
as she naps
-or pretends to nap.
Shhh!

Clack, clack.
She lets me wear her shoes,
and her hat, and her own Granny’s mink stole.
I am a lady.

We eat cookies and call them biscuits.

I keep my white gloves at her house,
in the bottom drawer of the big chest
she calls a bureau.
I keep them with the pin she calls a cameo
and a Sucrets tin with nine pennies,
a nickel,
and a red button.

Saturday Morning

Distance: 6 miles
Start time: 8:00 am
Run Duration: 70 minutes (Walked 2, ran 1, walked .5, ran 2.5 more)
Average Pace: 11.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 73 degrees
Humidity: 91%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I met my friend (we work together, but we're much more than that) Stacey at Memorial this morning. She brought Kylie in the stroller and we did the first loop together then I took off by myself when they exited the trail for the playground.

I was happy when she pinged me last night and asked if we could meet for some exercise this morning. I'd been planning to get a run in but having someone to talk to was welcome today. It would have been tempting to sleep in today and accountability to someone other than myself made me set my alarm and put on those running shoes.

It was a nice morning and it looks to be a nice day in Houston. Not sure how I'll spend the rest of the day. I'll find something to keep me busy. For now, I'm enjoying a cup of coffee and a smoothie. I needed to use up the produce in my fridge: Yogurt, a splash of orange juice, ripe avocado, a few baby spinach leaves, fresh blueberries and pineapple chunks. Yum! Have a great weekend, Readers!

Oh, Harry!

I was able to leave the office a little early today and I'm hanging out at my apartment. A little laundry, a little web-surfing, a little TV. Oprah Winfrey has a few celebrity guests on today. I perked up when Harry Connick, Jr. came on. I love that guy. In May he was given an honorary degree from Tulane University in New Orleans. I was at my son's graduation from Tulane Law for the Commencement Ceremony. Of course my son was the best looking guy in the arena, but Harry came in a close second.

Today he told Oprah what he considers the secret to the success of his marriage. "I realize that finding somebody that you can be with forever doesn't happen for everybody and I'm not gonna screw it up."

Is it that easy? Oh, Harry.

It's So Coooool!

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 6:05 am
Run Duration: 30 minutes (actually a little under, but who's counting?)
Pace: 10.00 minutes/mile
Temperature: 67 degrees
Humidity: 77%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

Beautiful morning for a run. It was sprinkling just a tiny bit when I got to my car but no rain at all at the park. I felt more like running this morning than I have in a long time. Last night I heard a bit of good news that really lifted my spirits. One of my friends has a great career opportunity, and while I'll miss her like crazy I'm so proud of her and I'm very excited for the doors that are opening for her.

Some days just turn out like that. Happy.

Cool!

Shopping List "D"

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 9:07 am
Run Duration: 32 minutes
Pace: 10.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 68 degrees
Humidity: 85%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I had a lot to think about this morning. I kind of got hit with it suddenly, so I decided to try to keep my mind busy with other things while I ran. I decided to create a list of things I'd buy if I had freedom to shop with all the time in the world, all the money in the world and latitude to bring whatever I wanted home.

For some reason I decided to have them start with the letter "D".

1. Diamonds. I've never been a huge diamond fan, but after watching the Emmy's on TV last weekend (flipping back and forth from the Cowboy's game) I found a few pair of earrings I'd like to have. They're attention-getter's for sure.

2. Donuts. I haven't had a donut since Hurricane Ike, when the Daylight Donut was one of the only places open after the storm. A donut sounds good this morning.

3. Dior. I've been spending time reading fashion magazines again. "W", "Glamour", and "Vogue". There are some beautiful Dior blouses for fall. Yummy.

4. Denzel Washington or Daniel Craig. Either will do.

5. A Divorced man who's had his Decree for at least 365 Days. Or a widower who lost his wife at least a Decade ago and he's Done grieving. Yes, Darlings...there's trouble in paradise...again...still. Update to follow.

Small Victories

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:45 am
Run Duration: 32 minutes
Pace: 10.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 77 degrees
Humidity: 92%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

We all need to win once in awhile.

1. I beat the rain this morning.

2. My lunch is packed. (I'll eat some time between breakfast and dinner.)

3. I slept beautifully last night.

4. Tom DeLay looked as ridiculous as I thought he would on "Dancing With the Stars".

After the Crash

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 9:45 am
Run Duration: 35 minutes
Pace: 11.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 80 degrees
Humidity: 90%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

So I mostly ran, but I walked a little - as per special request.

I admit that I was a little fearful, even knowing that my cardiac tests are normal. Thoughts of Jim Fixx entered my mind as I set foot on the gravel path. (Completely illogical. Fixx certainly would have had positive tests if he'd gone through them and was a big-bad smoker before he became a running junkie.) Anyway, for just a few seconds I thought, "Wouldn't it be ironic if I crumped right here, the day after given the all clear." I had to put it aside and get on with it or I don't think I ever would have run again.

My dad, daughter and I were in Las Vegas a few years ago and witnessed a terrible scene. A drunk driver plowed through an intersection and took out 8 pedestrians. One. After. The. Other. It was horrific. My daughter and I provided triage and first aid to the best of our abilities. We left the scene after Fire and Rescue arrived and took the injured off our bloodied hands. Upon returning to Kansas I found that I was having trouble crossing streets and I certainly couldn't run without several forms of identification on me. I kept one in each pocket and one tied to my shoelace. I carried my cell phone with me when I ran.

I have the capacity to be hindered by my neuroreceptors. I express obsessive compulsiveness in that manner, obsessive thought. Sure, I have my little rituals: I count backwards from 100 when I run, knowing that I don't dare include zero in my litany. (I might die!) I must hit the PortAJohn directly before a race, even if I emptied my bladder only 10 minutes previously. Otherwise, I'll be thinking about it during the race and that's just not a good thing. I've tried it, it doesn't work for me. I also check locks, but only twice.

So as far as not being able to run, I was pretty sure that I had to run today or I wouldn't run again for a very long time.

I didn't feel any chest pain, but I had the same fatigue I've felt for months. I also realized that I clear my throat and cough quite a bit. I've been doing these things for a couple years and I thought it had to do with seasonal allergies, and I've been a little embarrassed at how noisy I am when I run. I guess it makes sense now. I'll get in to my doc and get spirometry and pulmonary function tests if he thinks it's indicated. I've had to use inhalers previously.

It's funny how we really can't see the forest for the trees sometimes. I couldn't even recognize my own symptoms. Not only that, but I chose to ignore them, to instead bury my head in denial. Not good, not good at all.

Lessons learned. Gratitude felt.

Heartfelt

Sometimes your day just doesn't go as planned. You get up, go to work with intentions of getting the job done, maybe having a little dinner, doing a little laundry. You're looking forward to a run on Saturday morning, and then...wham! I got whammed yesterday.

It was the kind of wham that happens when the wind has been playing with a door, pulling it back and forth on a breeze - toying with it until it slams it shut, forcing you to pay attention to the shatter of glass as a picture falls off a wall with the force of the blow.

I've been experiencing tiny jabs of chest pain when I run for the last two months. No shortness of breath. Thursday I had pain all day long and continued to work through two surgeries and on through a meeting at 5pm. I told a couple colleagues about it, chewed a couple aspirin and the pain went away. I thought everything was ok, except I was still ignoring the pain when I ran. Yesterday things got worse and I ended up leaving my clinic and checking myself into the emergency room. An overnight admission for observation, a sleepless night and multiple tests later show that I have a perfectly strong heart.

I've experienced the headache that comes from nitroglycerin. I know what it feels like to need to go to the bathroom and not to be able to reach the call light. I've heard a patient in the next stretcher bay suffer from what I knew must certainly be a pulmonary embolism - and I couldn't do a damned thing because I was only a patient, not a provider.

Now the good parts: A colleague dropped everything and got me checked into the ER. When I called a friend and told her where I was, she was at my bedside in 2 minutes. Literally 2 minutes. That's a bonus of being admitted to a hospital where I used to work. My children were quick to allow me to assure them by phone that I was OK and that they shouldn't disrupt their lives for the unknown. Shaking them up would cause me strife and they trusted me to give them the straight skinny on my condition. I appreciate that immensely. My personal physician rounded on me not once, but twice in 24 hours. He knows me and he knows my history. I felt safe in his care. When I called my sweetheart, he got in his car and he arrived at the hospital ASAP/STAT/really-really-fast. He made sure I had what I needed: pillows, blankets, a real salad instead of hospital food and Kleenex when I started to cry because toilet paper apparently isn't good enough for wiping the tears from my eyes.

I was frightened, but I tried to keep it together. I knew that anxiety would only make matters worse. The problem isn't my heart. It's most likely exercise induced asthma and it will be worked up as an outpatient. I couldn't imagine not being able to run. I've been cleared to exercise. Thank goodness and thank God.

After I was given the second dose of nitro (and the second whopping headache) last night, and as I lay facing the wall, trying not to cry - again - I heard these words, softly:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

I have been on my own for a long time. It didn't come easy to turn this over, to allow myself to be cared for, but it wasn't as difficult this time as it might have been 2 years ago. My heart is finally open to feeling - everything.

ReRoute/ChangeUp/Detour. Pick Your Phrase.

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 8:03 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 75 degrees
Humidity: 82%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

It's been 9 days since my last run. I'm almost embarrassed to report this to you. It is what it is. Rain, laziness, crappy mood, these are my reasons. These are my excuses. Anyway, I'm back at it as of this morning. I didn't set my alarm because I didn't see any need. I knew the temperature wouldn't soar into the near-100's today.

As soon as I made the turn toward the Galleria, I saw the brake lights of a major traffic jam. Not good. I slowed to a creep and edged to the exit before I got stuck in the glue that was the 59/610 interchange. Thinking I'd make my way around on Kirby toward Memorial wasn't much better during Houston rush hour. I settled into the StopGoStopSomeMore and listened to NPR.

By the time I finally pulled into my parking space at the park, I was tired of the radio and decided I'd listen to my own breathing and footfalls while I ran. It was a good choice. I needed the time to think about a presentation I'm giving this afternoon. I need to go into work for a little while (it's my day off) and polish it a bit. Having music or talk in my ears this morning would have been distracting. I needed to spend time with myself. I was pretty disgusted at having downloaded my PowerPoint improperly. It's an easy fix and I've got a couple things to add to the talk that will make it all that much better. I wouldn't have believed it last night. Last night I thought I'd run into a brick wall and crashed with the project. I didn't see a way to salvage the wreck and I was considering talking without benefit of slides, old school.

No doubt I'll have to take more detours this week, next month and so on, and so on...

I better bookmark this page.

Kick It!

Crosstraining.

Have I lost all sense of what's important? I've been concentrating on running and haven't reached to other modes of exercise (other than the stairs when I have that option) for so long.

I'm teaching a mini-class this week and this morning I got my cardio-kickboxing self in gear. My students don't need an uncoordinated, confused teacher who hasn't shouted out "right cross, left hook" for awhile.

Much better. Great workout.

If All Else Fails...

...get a haircut. The weather is awful for running, although I think I'll put on my old shoes tomorrow and jump puddles.

I'm in a sad, sad mood. I tried to go shopping but all I bought was coffee. That's hilarious to me. I looked at plenty of dresses but nothing was tempting.

I sat in a sports bar and ate a burger and watched a soccer game. Crap.

I'm going to take in a movie tonight. I heard District 9 is good. At least it's not a love story.

I have tickets to see "Grease" tomorrow. That should be uplifting and silly and just what the doctor ordered. And I have a haircut that's quite sassy. My stylist told my he loves my "highlights" (read "gray") and he's glad I've quit coloring it. That's another positive for the day.

If all else fails, Sister...get a great haircut!

Feature

Not a good night for sleep. Obviously. I'm posting this at 3:20 in the morning. I tried to get to sleep, I really did. My upstairs neighbors threw a party tonight, the darlings. 2am and they really started to get wound up. I'm not anti-party, I've been known to throw a few myself, but c'mon! This is an apartment complex, after all. Anyway, I've been toying with this piece, so here it is. I've been cleaning it up for a little while and now I'll try to get back to sleep and be up early enough to run before the heat gets the best of Saturday.


Feature

Scene rolls over rolling wheat around a silo
down typical small town Main,
past the bank and the grocer
before following the U-haul
slowly,
slowly,
winding through quiet streets.
Fix on brake lights.
Short pause in front of a bolted storefront
-then
finding speed and exiting to the South.

Hour upon hour of silence.
she reels in the new setting.

Character Development:
PersonalityNatureChoiceAccidentReputation.
Sketch.
Dare to catch one.

Dialogue starts with unscripted whispers.
Mumbles, moans.
As notes swing through,
and mix with thoughts to words to music
to (at times) the sweetest aria,
best comfort is sought - still -
in waiting for some unknown cue.

M. Scofield 9/12/2009