Redistribute This

Neocons have me steaming this morning and I shouldn't be steaming. I'm on vacation. I should be packing my bags, or getting a massage, or a pedicure. Instead I'm thinking about the propaganda that's being spread across the net (again) and the venom that's being spewed (still) by these people who seemingly have an agenda to convince those who are gullible enough to believe their silliness.

The latest is around this program.

http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/lllu.html

Lifeline and Link-Up have been in existence since prior to President Obama's inauguration.

Yesterday I became aware of an "article" that starts out with reference to Michelle Obama serving meals to the homeless and a sense of outrage that homeless people were snapping photos of her with their cell phones. The text of the piece questioned "how the poor can afford cell phones" then went on to express outrage regarding the Lifeline and Link-up program.

I found a bit on Snopes.com to try and help people understand the truth. Silly me.

It was then that I was hit with this. "It's what Obama calls redistributive change."

Really? Really? Is that all you've got?

First. The program came into effect before Obama came into office.

Second. It's a discount on one phone. Yes, it's paid for with fees that are collected through phone services. I suppose I don't get all that outrage when I consider that a phone is a necessity. I suppose I wouldn't want to tell people how to use their necessities. I suppose I don't understand how helping out my fellow humans is somehow a problem.

Third. You want to talk redistribution? I paid 20% of my income in federal taxes last year. That's 20% of gross, not net, not taxable. I'm THAT woman. I'm the single taxpayer with the (relatively) high income. The one who doesn't itemize. The one who has only one vehicle - with two axles. My car is paid off and the value is low enough that any property tax wouldn't amount to enough to deduct. I have no mortgage. I live within my means. I don't even keep track of my charitable donations because I feel to deduct them from my taxes would be a little obscene. I pay off my student loans which are substantial but my income is high enough that I am not allowed to adjust my income downward when figuring my taxes.

You want to talk redistribution? How many people eek their taxes down for every penny they possibly can. You're welcome. You've redistributed my money right on over to you, the taxpayer who itemizes and deducts his or her tax return for every penny possible.

My sense, my opinion, my thought is that this entire neocon movement has come down to Us -vs- Them, Me -vs- You. It feels like someone is trying to take something from the neocons and they are desperate, using every crazy method possible to fight some wacked-out battle so that they don't lose what they're worked so hard to get. Is it any wonder the label "Wingnut" has caught on? And is it any wonder liberals like me are digging in, speaking up and get this - giving in even greater numbers?

Drive on those roads. Enjoy that police and fire protection. I paid my share, did you? Now try the truth. I love the truth.

A Little Sunshine Makes A World of Difference

Distance: 4 miles
Start time: 9:43 am
Run Duration: 42 minutes
Average Pace: 10.5 minutes/mile
Temperature: 70 degrees
Humidity: 73%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

When I stepped into the morning air, it was cool and damp. The sky was gray. Clouds filled the sky and my windshield was wet. I wondered if my Wichita State t-shirt would be warm enough for my morning run. Same story when I arrived at the park. I put on my sunglasses anyway. I feel like such a geek running in my clear prescription glasses but I can't see five feet in front of me and safety is important. I don't want to step in a hole in the path and break a hip. My sunglasses are prescription strength and look slightly more sporty.

I hadn't run half a mile when...

POW!!!

The sun broke through. It then decimated the clouds. They were gone - just like that. No mist, no fog, no nothing. It was suddenly a brilliant day.

My t-shirt was plenty, all right. Plenty hot.

I'm feeling on track as far as January goes. Have a great day, readers! Hope it's sunny where you are, at least in your mind.

Checking In With Myself

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 8:35 am
Run Duration: 32 minutes
Average Pace: 10.67 minutes/mile
Temperature: 66 degrees
Humidity: 75%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I was sore last night, monumentally sore. I realized it after I'd gone to dinner (small filet, asparagus and a glass of Charles Krug 2006 Cabernet), bought a few groceries from Central Market and settled in to my favorite oversized chair to watch a repeat of Saturday Night Live. I'd drifted off to a happy snooze with my feet up on my coffee table. I stood to get a glass of water and...

Ouch! Ouch! OUCH!!!

I hurt all over. Stiffness had set in. I'm not ready to attribute this to age, but rather to my over zealousness and all the physical work I've been doing around my apartment, combined with my six miles yesterday. I took 600. mg of Advil and crashed under the comfort of my duvet spread.

I woke this morning after 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I wanted to run. I stretched and realized I was only minimally sore. When I arrived at the park, I stretched gently and hit the trail. The only place I really felt any discomfort during my run was my hamstrings. They're tight. That's nothing new, but I need to be aware, and I stretched more carefully after my run.

I prepared a big glass of fresh carrot/pineapple juice to have with my breakfast and I think my cells will appreciate the additional vitamins and nutrients. I know my taste buds appreciated it.

I had no idea I would want to run today. I thought yesterday would be enough. I'm feeling a little surprised. And encouraged.

Sensible Shoes

Distance: 6 miles
Start time: 10:19 am
Run Duration: 68 minutes
Average Pace: 11.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 60 degrees
Humidity: 37%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

Runners' feet are not always the prettiest feet. I try to keep mine in good shape. I get pedicures. I take care to replace my running shoes fairly often and to purchase quality running shoes. Because I work in surgery, I think about the shoes I wear to work and have also come to believe that sock choice can make or break my comfort level on a long day.

I punished my poor tootsies the last few days. I know better and I paid for it this morning.

I'm so excited about my upcoming move that I'm spending almost every waking hour at home doing something to prepare - tearing down furniture to give away or sell, washing and ironing linens to pack, going through closets and culling out items for Goodwill. I've been barefoot a lot of the time, because I've been at home and comfortable and not really thinking about my feet.

Last night I went out with friends for a fabulous, delightful, delicious night of cocktails and dinner to celebrate a birthday. These shoes simply had to be worn.

As responsible citizens, we walked from our favorite watering hole to the restaurant and back to our cars. Spiked heels and four blocks of asphalt don't make for happy feet the next day.

I'll wear shoes while I putter around the apartment today.

The run felt great, despite my barking dogs. I'm happy with my pace for the distance. It's time to step up the training a bit. January isn't that far off.

Feeling Better Every Day

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:58 am
Run Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 10.00 minutes/mile
Temperature: 77 degrees
Humidity: 72%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

I feel like it's time to step up the mileage. I'm starting to benefit from the asthma meds in that my legs don't feel like cement blocks at mile two anymore. I'm not coughing or feeling a pesky urge to clear my throat and I don't have chest pain.

Woo!!! Hoo!!!

The big run isn't until mid-January but I have a couple longish vacations between now and then and I don't want it (the run) to sneak up on me. I see a six mile run in my very near future.

Pigeon Toes

The pigeon approached me on the platform, moving at a slow pace. At first I thought he was just another city pigeon, asking for a handout, looking for some popcorn or a bit of a sandwich, and then I noticed he was listing a bit to the side, coming at an angle. Odd. My guard went up immediately. The Metro Rail stations aren’t the safest places in the city for reporters, especially on a sunny Sunday afternoon. You just never know.

I pulled my satchel a little closer and watched the pigeon as he neared. Then I saw it, the reason for his odd gait. He was one of them. He was missing the toes on his right foot. All he had at the end of his pigeon leg was a stump.

I needed a photograph. I reached for my bag. I never go anywhere without my camera. Just then the train pulled into the station and the pigeon flew away. I missed him. I boarded the train along with the rest of the waiting passengers and that’s when I noticed the man two rows up wearing a Houston Chronicle t-shirt. This was clearly a major story I’d stumbled onto. Damn! No photo. I pulled out my sketch pad and started to draw what I could remember of the little bird. A woman sitting next to me looked at my artwork and remarked, “I’ve seen a pigeon like that.”

I had a witness! Unfortunately she didn't want to reveal her identity. Something about government clearance or something like that, but she said she’d seen several pigeons with missing claws around town. She mentioned something about frostbite but the average temperature isn’t that low here. She then started talking about dim sum and conjectured that there isn’t that much meat on a pigeon foot as on a chicken foot. She went on to say that it could have something to do with voodoo, or natural medicine. She thought people might be wearing them around their necks for healing powers. Potentially they (pigeon toes) could be ground and fed to children to cure pigeon toes. With the downturn in the economy, and the obvious stalemate in Washington regarding healthcare reform, people might be taking matters into their own hands.

By this time I was getting a little nervous. I think I was sent over the edge when the conversation turned to the Godfather movies, the horse heads on the beds and the possibilities of using pigeon feet as warnings in gang or mob wars. She looked like she knew what she was talking about. Kind of like a MetroRail Cliff Clavin in a pashmina and crystal earrings.

We pulled into the Wheeler station. I bolted past her, slipping on a tube of toothpaste on the floor of the train and knocked over the Chronicle reporter on the way out of the car. As the train left the station I watched the voodoo queen watch me as I stood shaking on the platform. I was mesmerized. I didn’t move until I felt something warm hit my shoulder. Pigeon poop had dropped from the wires above. There is more to this story. I just know it.

Loose Dogs

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 9:28 am
Run Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 10.00 minutes/mile
Temperature: 53 degrees
Humidity: 80%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

Just a quick rant. Loose dogs really piss me off. I don't feel safe running in my neighborhood because of them. We have loose lab mixes, loose pit bulls, etc. My theory is that people dump them here and then they breed and then they pack and then they will attack me and I'll die or be maimed and some newbie plastic surgeon who didn't train with the plastic surgeons I know will put me back together again in all the wrong Humpty Dumpty ways. I'll be scrambled.

Yesterday and again today I saw a dog off-leash in Memorial Park. The stupid owner was yelling at it to "Come on, Sweetie! Come back!" The dog was about 20 yards from the owner both times, running through the trees on the dirt trail. I don't give a rat's ass, dog's tail, or whatever anatomy you want to bet how perfectly trained the owner believes her dog is trained. There is a leash law for a reason. Runners may trip on the dog. Other dogs may freak out. Or her little "Sweetie" may just show some aberrant behavior. Stupid.

I guess I've had enough experience with loose dogs recently to make me more than a little testy. Ooohhh. Is she speaking metaphorically? Perhaps.

Refresh!

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 9:28 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 57 degrees
Humidity: 66%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX

There aren't enough words to describe the weather this morning. Imagine, using the numbers I've posted above for temperature and humidity. I allowed myself to sleep as late as my body required and today feels wonderful.

Last night I met friends at Anvil for cocktails. No hurries, no schedule, no worries. I was given two shining gifts of insight yesterday that allowed me to rest my mind around issues that have been bubbling beneath the surface. I credit my friend, Daryl, with giving me a couple minutes to put things in perspective and allow me to see (again) how blessed I am. Talking with someone who loves me for me, doesn't want anything from me - other than to see me happy - and then move on with the purpose of the evening (fun and relaxation) was very helpful.

I woke this morning ready to run again, but only on the trail. I'm thinking about my career a little differently. I'm thinking about my home a little differently. I feel more settled.

Today's gratitude is for the gift of friendship, for people who are willing to stick with me during my darkest times and wait for the real me to emerge because I always do. I am also grateful that those same people are willing to let me see them in their times of difficulty, that they allow me to stand with them or sit by them, to listen, and to give words when they need them the most. Blessings.

Quick Post

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:55 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 67 degrees
Humidity: 84%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX


Much cooler!

Better!

Good run!

Have a great day, readers.

From Where, Inspiration?

"In relations with people, as in art, if you always stick to style, manners, and what will work, and you're never caught off guard, then some beautiful experiences never happen." - Helen Frankenthaler, Painter

I have a project in mind, a series of self-portraits. The idea for this project sprouted from one word, "arrogant". I was told I was arrogant.

Ouch.

So what if I am? (I get the irony in that question.) I don't think I am. I consider myself humble, polite, shy, stand-offish and misunderstood. Perhaps these traits, combined, can be mistaken for arrogance.

I wanted to capture ARROGANCE. Other emotions appeared on my computer screen. I think this might make a project. I'll see. I had a rough day. DOUBT seemed to be the best place to start.

Humidity!

Distance: 3 miles
Start time: 5:49 am
Run Duration: 31 minutes
Average Pace: 10.33 minutes/mile
Temperature: 80 degrees
Humidity: 95%
Location: Memorial Park, Houston, TX


Dripping, soaking wet! It's sooooo humid. But. However. I ran.

It felt good.

Tomorrow's forecast is for much cooler. This weekend is for outright pleasant. I'll take that.

Today's gratitude:
For the cool breeze coming out of mile two, across the golf course; I needed to feel it.
For looking up and seeing the clouds part past a new moon; I needed to see it.

These are gifts that I might miss if not paying attention.

*Pay attention. (That's a note to myself.)

Promise

I've got a lot to do.

I haven't run for too long. I've honestly been a little afraid to run. Knowing that my heart (physically) is not at risk of seizing up and quitting on me is good. Thinking that my lungs might primarily be a problem, leading to a secondary heart problem, is bad. I'd tried antihistamines which helped a little with the coughing and throat-clearing but left me feeling groggy later in the day.

Click one thing off my list of to-do's. I went to the doctor today and brought home a sack full of sample meds to treat asthma. No excuses for not running.

Oh - I walked two miles round trip to and from my appointment because I didn't want to pay ten bucks and park in the Tower. I have a paid spot near my office, so I used it. I'm not going to count those miles today. I'll get them in tomorrow or Friday. I promise.

I've got a lot to do.

October is a tough month. My mom died in October. I tend to hibernate in the fall. It's been a very long time since we buried her. It still hurts. She died of breast cancer. It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, or so all the pink ribbons are shouting at me. I'm doing my best not to hibernate, in fact I got a mammogram today but I want to do other things that remind me of Mom this month, not think of breast cancer. Mom only lived to be 45 and here I am, 49. I've already outlived her. It may hurt, but honestly it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it used to, especially when I get enough exercise and sunshine. I know what I need to do. I'll do it. I promise.

I've got a lot to do.

On the drive home today I passed the Buffalo Speedway extension project. The City of Houston is working on a project to build the road on out to where??? I don't know. I thought about stopping to take a picture of the mud that is at least knee-deep. It's an endless stretch of nothing but muck and mire. It seems to have no destination, no real goal. I'm sure there is a beautiful set of plans in an office somewhere, paid for by our tax dollars. I'm sure someone knows what is going on. I don't. There are construction pylons and the surrounding road is a mess. The surrounding area is not scenic or pretty or even navigable. There isn't a detour, yet. There probably should be. I'm not even sure if the area is safe. I decided I won't go that way for awhile. I made the same decision about a relationship I'm in. It's probably not safe. I'm not going to go that way. When it's complete, when it's open and navigable, I'll look for the signs. Until then, I'll look for another way. I promise.

Oh, the picture of the rough, unfinished road? Nah, a sky full of promise is much more inviting.

Years

They are not mine to throw away
but days to watch
and keep
and play
them out,

one
by
one.

The sun
lays down the day's last light.
I call you in.
You say you might
just stay a while
and think,

one
by
one.

You give me sense of peace
and right,
of purpose and you keep in sight
a living of our days,

one
by
one.


M. Scofield 10/09/2009 (For Chris)

All By Myself

There are certain pleasures that come with having a job. Sure, I bitch-and-moan about the long hours and thankless tasks I routinely perform but the truth is that steady employment affords me the opportunity to travel frequently to places I enjoy to partake in activities I enjoy and eat foods I really enjoy.

I did just that earlier this week. I flew to Las Vegas and spent time with someone I've not spent much time with lately. Me.

I took me on long walks up and down Las Vegas Boulevard, stopping to look at whatever I wanted to look at. I watched construction. I listened to music. I even stopped and had a cocktail at three o'clock in the afternoon - because I could and I didn't have a single place I needed to be. No schedule, no one to answer to, nothing.

I took me to dinner. I went where I wanted to go. I happened to want to go to some pretty nice places. I ate where the celebrity chefs put their names on the menus - Michael Mina, Tom Colicchio, and Emeril Lagasse. I had steak and lobster one night. Another night I only felt like soup and salad, but it was delicious. I had martinis, dirty.

I slept by the pool, dozing off after reading a magazine, enjoying the luxury of the "adults only" section of the vast complex.

I dressed each night, how I like to dress. I never worried that I was over- or underdressed. My biggest concern was whether or not I could reach my zipper. I could.

I took myself to a show and laughed myself silly, especially when Howie Mandel somehow managed to pull me into his dialogue and we carried on a conversation for about five minutes with the rest of the crowd laughing around us. It was unforgettable.

Don't get me wrong, I wish I'd had this time with someone else, but I managed just fine by myself. I enjoyed myself. I even documented the first time wearing a fantastic dress. All this running has done something for me. It lets me wear dresses pretty well. Next time, maybe I'll have the love of my life in the picture next to me. In the meantime...I had a pretty good time, with myself.

Noise

I try to get in some form of exercise that's not work every day. Today I left the operating room a little before noon and worked at my desk for a little while. I'd packed a lunch and ate while I did paperwork. I checked the weather page on the net and noted that it was only eighty-one degrees out. I had my camera with me so I headed downstairs. My plan was to find a few flower beds and escape into petals and leaves and color for about ten minutes.

I was struck by the noise of the street as soon as I exited the building. Construction vehicles are everywhere in the Medical Center. I say I love the city and I do, it's just that there was no escaping it today. It felt oppressive and a little ugly. A new structure has gone up across from my building. I'm not sure what it is. It may be a water tower, but it seems more like a containment structure, as if it's been built in case of emergency. It's next to a power plant for the hospital. I know there was a some sort of drilling rig in place before the walls went up. Then panels were installed that made it look like a weird piece of modern art plopped right in the middle of all the steel and glass buildings. It's bizarre.



The other picture I'm posting is to show you just how congested this area is with buildings, and more buildings. It's thick with them.



So today I feel like I looked out and I saw noise. My eyes were full of the hustle of the place I work. Perhaps more overload or maybe just a chance to look at things a little differently.