So I had a discussion last night regarding class, particularly "second" class. Although I'm still working that around in my head...well, I'm still working that around in my head. Part of doing so is considering how we might handle the concept of being perceived as "less than". It's a HUGE problem for many people, one that I've worked through over and over again. It's brought me to my knees more than once and each time, I'm more grateful than the last for the insight I've gained. Anyway, what sprang from my fingers is below. I've not achieved any personal milestones today. I've only written a bit. M
Caste
Stepping past the racks of crystal pleating
and leather,
you pause for a moment at bottles filled with
gold, with amber.
They seem to be
stoppered by someone else’s ambition.
Who exactly holds your favor?
The moment your eyes meet
those of the watchers,
they’ll hear your heart
sending
its thrum above the
drone and murmur of the room.
Giving into temptation,
you pull the delicate glass tops
from each container and leave
them on the counters.
Looking up through curved lashes
you bat away the judgment that
swirls toward you on waves of
citrus, vanilla and jasmine.
Your ragged jeans
swish, swish, swish
as you take your leave on
honeysuckle top notes.
MScofield 2/25/2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A Patient's Lesson
I went to the doctor yesterday. Seems I overdid it a bit last week, with moving one room of furniture into another room (but the apartment looks swell!) and hitting a large bucket of golf balls with several practice swings in between. I'm a perfectionist, I know this. My streak of must-make-it-right led to sore ribs that wouldn't respond to ibuprofen so I requested an appointment with my Internist. I wanted to make sure I hadn't done any serious damage, or that I didn't have a TUMOR. After all I work in Oncology and that sort of thing crosses my mind about once every twelve minutes.
I was in more pain than I wanted to admit and I hadn't slept well. I approached the reception desk and gave my name. The pleasant woman behind the desk handed me a clipboard and asked me to sign in. Odd. The sign-in sheet was like the back portion of one of those magic writing tablets we used to have when we were kids - the kind that you lift up the top sheet and everything disappears because you're really only making an imprint on the wax underneath. Hmmm. I thought it must be some kind of patient privacy thing, signed my name and the time I arrived and handed back the clipboard. I settled into an uncomfortable chair for what I anticipated would be a wait. In the past I'd always waited an hour to see my doc. He's busy, but he's worth it.
I flipped through magazines and the newspaper. I watched the drug reps come in and out. After an hour and fifteen minutes, I was the only one in the waiting room. Something was not right. The receptionist asked me who I was waiting to see. Uh oh. He'd left the building.
I heard his nurse ask if I'd checked in. Then I knew what had happened. The "magic clipboard" was supposed to have paper on it. Shit! I heard the nurse say, "Who would do something like that? Couldn't she see how to sign in?"
Sore ribs or not, I came out of my chair. I told her that I could hear her. I told her that I was embarrassed to have filled out the form incorrectly - such as it was. I also told her that I had been sitting in the waiting room the entire time, that if she was concerned that I hadn't shown up for my appointment, all she had to do was look for me, she knows me. I told her that I am a medical provider and above all else that I would not want my patients to hear me talking about them in the manner she was talking about me.
Obviously angry, but still holding it together, I told her that I would happily reschedule my appointment. My doctor was, however, on his way back to the office.
I was seen, I was diagnosed and I was treated. I learned a huge lesson in humility and I hope that it will stay with me for a very long time. I think what happened yesterday was a combination of me (the patient) not asking when I was unsure of the check in procedure, and them (the office staff) not following through when a long-standing patient wasn't accounted for. This is a tough thing that all too often leads to patients not getting what they need. I consider it an opportunity to change my practice. This is a good thing.
I was in more pain than I wanted to admit and I hadn't slept well. I approached the reception desk and gave my name. The pleasant woman behind the desk handed me a clipboard and asked me to sign in. Odd. The sign-in sheet was like the back portion of one of those magic writing tablets we used to have when we were kids - the kind that you lift up the top sheet and everything disappears because you're really only making an imprint on the wax underneath. Hmmm. I thought it must be some kind of patient privacy thing, signed my name and the time I arrived and handed back the clipboard. I settled into an uncomfortable chair for what I anticipated would be a wait. In the past I'd always waited an hour to see my doc. He's busy, but he's worth it.
I flipped through magazines and the newspaper. I watched the drug reps come in and out. After an hour and fifteen minutes, I was the only one in the waiting room. Something was not right. The receptionist asked me who I was waiting to see. Uh oh. He'd left the building.
I heard his nurse ask if I'd checked in. Then I knew what had happened. The "magic clipboard" was supposed to have paper on it. Shit! I heard the nurse say, "Who would do something like that? Couldn't she see how to sign in?"
Sore ribs or not, I came out of my chair. I told her that I could hear her. I told her that I was embarrassed to have filled out the form incorrectly - such as it was. I also told her that I had been sitting in the waiting room the entire time, that if she was concerned that I hadn't shown up for my appointment, all she had to do was look for me, she knows me. I told her that I am a medical provider and above all else that I would not want my patients to hear me talking about them in the manner she was talking about me.
Obviously angry, but still holding it together, I told her that I would happily reschedule my appointment. My doctor was, however, on his way back to the office.
I was seen, I was diagnosed and I was treated. I learned a huge lesson in humility and I hope that it will stay with me for a very long time. I think what happened yesterday was a combination of me (the patient) not asking when I was unsure of the check in procedure, and them (the office staff) not following through when a long-standing patient wasn't accounted for. This is a tough thing that all too often leads to patients not getting what they need. I consider it an opportunity to change my practice. This is a good thing.
Monday, February 16, 2009
They're All Winners, Aren't They?
No, really, they are. I wonder if they believe that. Next Sunday evening the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will hand out the Oscars to the winners in many categories of achievement including acting, directing, writing, editing, makeup and animation. I will tune in to see if my favorites take home the statuette or if they are left sitting in their seats smiling and cheering on their colleagues, looking ever-so pleasant and well...pleasant. That's acting, right?
I admit that a large portion of my viewing pleasure comes from the fashion. I love the gowns and the glamour of Hollywood. I appreciate the up dos and the trains, the diamonds on loan from Harry Winston. I stayed at the Beverly Hilton hotel several years ago and I reveled in the knowledge that I was in the same place where the Governor's Ball for the Academy Awards was held each year. As I walked through the lobby, I imagined all the movie stars that had previously walked the same path. Ah, imagination. Then I went home to Kansas.
Here are my picks for this year's Oscar winners, and why I made my selections.
Performance by an actor in a leading role
*Sean Penn in "Milk"
Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor"
Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon"
Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler"
Penn is absolutely in character, we LOSE Penn while he plays the role of Harvey Milk.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
*Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight"
Josh Brolin in "Milk"
Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt"
Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road"
They will likely give it to Ledger. Shannon deserves it for his role in Revolutionary Road. He played it with perfect clarity. I'd like to see him get it. He won't.
Performance by an actress in a leading role
*Meryl Streep in "Doubt"
Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married"
Angelina Jolie in "Changeling"
Melissa Leo in "Frozen River"
Meryl Streep in "Doubt"
Kate Winslet in "The Reader"
This was a tough call. Two great actresses (Streep and Winslet) looking like they don't have any makeup. They'll give it to Streep.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
*Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler"
Amy Adams in "Doubt"
Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Viola Davis in "Doubt"
Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Tomei played this well. She was raw, and I don't just mean naked. Best acting in this category.
Best animated feature film of the year
hahahahahahahahaha! Really? Did anyone who knows me expect me to even venture a guess?
Achievement in costume design
*"Australia" Catherine Martin
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Jacqueline West
"The Duchess" Michael O'Connor
"Milk" Danny Glicker
"Revolutionary Road" Albert Wolsky
Australia was this year's "Gone With The Wind". The costume opportunities were many and taken full advantage of. It was a beautifully appointed film.
Achievement in directing
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" David Fincher
"Frost/Nixon" Ron Howard
"Milk" Gus Van Sant
"The Reader" Stephen Daldry
"Slumdog Millionaire" Danny Boyle
With all the technical challenge of Benjamin Button, I think it's a shoe in for directing.
Achievement in makeup
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Greg Cannom
"The Dark Knight" John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O'Sullivan
"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz
Well, duh.
Best motion picture of the year
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
"Frost/Nixon"
"Milk"
"The Reader"
"Slumdog Millionaire"
I think it will go to Benjamin Button, although this category was kind of a weird one. The sum is not as good as its parts. Go figure.
I admit that a large portion of my viewing pleasure comes from the fashion. I love the gowns and the glamour of Hollywood. I appreciate the up dos and the trains, the diamonds on loan from Harry Winston. I stayed at the Beverly Hilton hotel several years ago and I reveled in the knowledge that I was in the same place where the Governor's Ball for the Academy Awards was held each year. As I walked through the lobby, I imagined all the movie stars that had previously walked the same path. Ah, imagination. Then I went home to Kansas.
Here are my picks for this year's Oscar winners, and why I made my selections.
Performance by an actor in a leading role
*Sean Penn in "Milk"
Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor"
Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon"
Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler"
Penn is absolutely in character, we LOSE Penn while he plays the role of Harvey Milk.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
*Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight"
Josh Brolin in "Milk"
Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt"
Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road"
They will likely give it to Ledger. Shannon deserves it for his role in Revolutionary Road. He played it with perfect clarity. I'd like to see him get it. He won't.
Performance by an actress in a leading role
*Meryl Streep in "Doubt"
Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married"
Angelina Jolie in "Changeling"
Melissa Leo in "Frozen River"
Meryl Streep in "Doubt"
Kate Winslet in "The Reader"
This was a tough call. Two great actresses (Streep and Winslet) looking like they don't have any makeup. They'll give it to Streep.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
*Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler"
Amy Adams in "Doubt"
Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Viola Davis in "Doubt"
Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Tomei played this well. She was raw, and I don't just mean naked. Best acting in this category.
Best animated feature film of the year
hahahahahahahahaha! Really? Did anyone who knows me expect me to even venture a guess?
Achievement in costume design
*"Australia" Catherine Martin
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Jacqueline West
"The Duchess" Michael O'Connor
"Milk" Danny Glicker
"Revolutionary Road" Albert Wolsky
Australia was this year's "Gone With The Wind". The costume opportunities were many and taken full advantage of. It was a beautifully appointed film.
Achievement in directing
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" David Fincher
"Frost/Nixon" Ron Howard
"Milk" Gus Van Sant
"The Reader" Stephen Daldry
"Slumdog Millionaire" Danny Boyle
With all the technical challenge of Benjamin Button, I think it's a shoe in for directing.
Achievement in makeup
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Greg Cannom
"The Dark Knight" John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O'Sullivan
"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz
Well, duh.
Best motion picture of the year
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
"Frost/Nixon"
"Milk"
"The Reader"
"Slumdog Millionaire"
I think it will go to Benjamin Button, although this category was kind of a weird one. The sum is not as good as its parts. Go figure.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Betwixt
Turning to find comfort
she folds a pillow and
resists the pressing
urge
to lie
while
lying
next to him.
She rests in the valley
between resolution and sleep
counting horses whose thunderous
hooves drown out the
gee and haw of the driver.
Exposed in the open air of
the half-dream carriage,
she shivers and
pulls the blankets
to her chin.
He pulls her closer.
Now, too warm,
all she can do is
wait for the mourning.
Closing her eyes,
she conjures up the steeds.
she folds a pillow and
resists the pressing
urge
to lie
while
lying
next to him.
She rests in the valley
between resolution and sleep
counting horses whose thunderous
hooves drown out the
gee and haw of the driver.
Exposed in the open air of
the half-dream carriage,
she shivers and
pulls the blankets
to her chin.
He pulls her closer.
Now, too warm,
all she can do is
wait for the mourning.
Closing her eyes,
she conjures up the steeds.
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