Reason Number 463: "You're Intimidating"

Ask any smart woman and she'll tell you she's been let down, let go, let off the dating hook by an otherwise great guy until he said these words, "You're intimidating". Huh?

Things were probably going along swimmingly for a date or two. They'd engaged in conversation over a meal or a walk. They might have taken in the latest movie at the Indie cinema and she was fascinated that he was fascinated by her opinions. Then he wasn't so fascinated anymore. He stopped calling. He didn't text her anymore. What happened? He was such a nice guy.

Being the intelligent, empowered, independent woman that she is, she called him and asked. He stammered a bit, said something about being busy and finally blurted out a five syllable word - usually quite a turn-on for her, but not in this case.

Intimidating.

It's a cop out guys. It's right up there with standing someone up. Well, maybe not quite as bad, but it's not honest.

What's honest? You could say...

"I feel intimidated."

or

You could talk about insecurity around brains, or money, or just about anything. You could talk about how you're feeling compared to someone else.

That would be asking a lot, wouldn't it? I know, I know.

But putting it on the other person. Saying they are "intimidating". Yeah, probably not exactly accurate, is it?

So here's the exercise portion of this Date Coach post: Stretch those subjectivity muscles and consider what you can learn about yourself if someone you've dated isn't right for you. Seriously, maybe it's not about the other person, maybe it's about you. Why would someone else make you feel intimidated?

Is it about brains? Money? Something else? Who is doing the comparing and why?

This is rhetorical to me and potentially life-changing to you. That's all.




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