Third Step - Again

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God."

For me, the Steps aren't like stairsteps. No, I don't ascend. I move horizontally. I like to think of the Steps as a path that I walk along, stones that I'm familiar with. In my mind's eye, these well-worn markers are cobbled, put together roughly but worn smooth from the many times I've paced over them, sometimes backing up to retrace my way before I can move on. Even though I've seen each one countless times, lately I've learned to stop and study where my feet are falling. I'm only now beginning to appreciate the journey rather than look forward to the destination.

Today, once again, I returned to the third step. I turned it over. "It" being - everything.

I'd fallen into that old habit (pattern/need/drive) to know (control/hold) - everything.

How can I possibly? I am living in a world of uncertainty. Even typing the previous sentence makes me realize how much I crave "settled". Recognizing this and wanting to turn it over gives me some comfort, but also allows me to see something different in this Step. I need to linger here awhile. I need to spend some time with myself here, in the quiet, on this path. There is a reason for me to return to this place at this time. I stand here in gratitude.